


Sing For Me

by Ringo_Angel



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cute, Fluff, I have a weird obsession with MarkHyuck, I suck at tagging, Language, M/M, No penetration, depends which way it goes, haven't decided yet, i suppose......, markhyuck, mature themes, potential smut, well maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 08:39:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14421600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ringo_Angel/pseuds/Ringo_Angel
Summary: Donghyuck and Mark have always been friends. Mark loves Donghyuck's voice when he sings, but what happens when Donghyuck loses what Mark loves the most?





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Yo guys~ I have an obsession with MarkHyuck ♡♡♡♡♡
> 
> Also this fic is mature because I don't know which direction I might go and with my ficd they sometimes get steamy. Because Donghyuck isn't 18 (international) yet I'll try not get too hardcore

Mark had always liked Donghyuck's voice. Ever since they met in SM Entertainment, it was the one thing that Mark had really noticed. As they trained and got older, Donghyuck's voice had gotten stronger and more beautiful. Everything about the way he sang was everything to Mark.

When the time to debut came along, Mark tried as hard as he could. He made sure that his dancing was never off, and that his raps were impeccable. It was a lot of pressure that he'd put on himself, especially with how much he'd shunned the other members. 

Mark was sat in the studio, rubbing at his temples in frustration. No matter what he did, the lyrics that he was writing never seemed to roll of his tongue properly. It wasn't even due to his slight lack of the language. He'd been awake for what felt like days, cooped up in the studio. Taeyong had come in every now and then, telling the younger that he needed to go home and rest. Mark had always replied the same way: 

"I'm just finishing up, Hyung. I'll leave soon." 

He knew that Taeyong wouldn't buy it, but the elder still left him to it. Mark sighed, leaning back in the office chair that occupied the studio. He didn't even know when the last time he ate was; maybe... 9 hours ago? Possibly more. 

The studio door suddenly creaked open. "Hyung, you're still here?" Mark glanced up, only to see Donghyuck looking back at him. 

"Yeah..." Mark gave the younger a smile, but it did nothing to mask his tiredness. 

Donghyuck rolled his eyes, walking further into the studio. "It's almost 1am, just come home." He sounded almost frustrated. 

"I've just gotta finish th-" 

"No, Mark." Donghyuck had a stern tone. Mark gave the younger a funny look, seeing as though the younger dropped 'hyung' like it was nothing. 

Donghyuck held his hand out for Mark, expecting the elder to take it. Mark just raised an eyebrow, until the younger actually grabbed his hand. "We are leaving, you need rest." Donghyuck waited for the elder to nod before grabbing his notebook and dragging him out. 

The studio was located in the SM building, which was located a bit of a walk from the dorms. Two minors probably shouldn't have been walking around in the early hours of the morning, but Mark was too tired to scold Donghyuck about it. 

Mark looked down to where their hands were interlocked. Donghyuck was a little ahead, dragging the elder behind him. Mark kind of liked the warm feeling that Donghyuck's hand was giving off. He never felt that way with any of the others, nothing when Jaehyun would sling his arm around his shoulders, or how Jeno would sometimes jump on his back. No one else gave him his warmth, and just from a bit of skin contact. 

When they reached the dorm, Donghyuck dragged Mark all the way to their shared room. Mark flopped down on his bed, thankful that he was in joggers and an oversized hoodie. He could easily fall asleep like this. 

"Now sleep." Donghyuck ordered, placing Mark's lyrical notebook on their shared side table. 

"Donghyuck..." Mark mumbled out, his eyes already feeling heavy. 

"Hmm?" Donghyuck hummed as he got himself into bed, shifting about with the duvet. 

"Sing for me...." Mark's voice was becoming quieter, but Donghyuck heard the words loud and clear. 

"W-why?" Donghyuck internally cursed himself for stuttering but it had probably gone unnoticed in the elder's sorry state. 

"I like your voice." Mark answered simply. 

Donghyuck sighed, already thinking about what song to sing. "Any requests?" He questioned. 

"Soft... anything..." Mark's eyes were already closed, he probably wasn't even really listening. 

"With a blinding heart like the sun rising above you..." Donghyuck's voice was soft and sweet as he started singing the chorus from TXVQ's 'Picture of You'. "I'll protect you as much as the times 

you spent waiting for me~" 

Mark smiled in his light sleep, listening to the younger sing the lyrics to him. "All the dreams that I have prayed for, wrapped in the scent of my sincerity~" 

Donghyuck glanced over to Mark, seeing his chest rise and fall with each calming breath. "They are coming for us, more than the air I breathe..." His voice faded out a little, seeing as the elder was already fast asleep. "Goodnight, Mark." 

Mark had been chosen as part of the lineup for NCT U not long after. If he said he wasn't a little disappointed he'd be lying. Not in that way, he'd worked hard for this place and he would never give it up. He was disappointed that he wouldn't be able to hear Donghyuck sing for a while. 

Taeyong had suggested that the six members of NCT U shared rooms, so as to not disturb the other members if schedules collided. Jaehyun was quick to agree, as long as he could share with Taeyong. 

Doyoung had agreed to share with Taeil, who was more than happy to accept. Ten was more than happy ending up with Mark as a roommate, since they had always gotten along through their 'not amazing Korean language' phase. 

Donghyuck was also sad to see Mark move out, but he didn't say anything to stop him. Mark said his goodbyes to the younger and told him that he would definitely debut next time. 

Which of course, he did. That was two years and here they were. Donghyuck became Haechan and all 18 members of NCT were official debuted. 

It was a weird feeling, being in such a large band, but then again it was nice to be surrounded by equally as passionate people. Mark was the only member that had made it into every single unit and it was a little taxing, but he'd never show it. He'd definitely put on a good show. 

"Donghyuck?" Mark called out, hanging his upper body have way off his bed. 

"Yeah?" Donghyuck was sat on the opposite bed, doing what looked like homework. 

"Sing for me." Mark sat up as he spoke, making his voice go a little disorientated. 

"You serious?" Donghyuck chuckled a little, glancing over towards his hyung. Mark just sat and stated at him, waiting. 

Donghyuck sighed, feigning annoyance. He'd never admit it out loud, but he actually liked how Mark asked him to sing. That meant that he liked his voice, and that made Donghyuck happy inside. 

"Your gentle smile," he started from the bridge of Super Junior's 'Why I Like You', remembering these lyrics the most. "Your sexy eyes, your weird words~" 

 

Mark closed his eyes, listening to the soft bell of Donghyuck's voice. "That are sometimes unpredictable like the weather, yeah~" 

Donghyuck glanced towards Mark, seeing as though his eyes were closed. "Just as you are, 

Without having to fix anything," he let his eyes lids lower as he looked over the hyung sat only a few paces from him. 

"The person that is so lovable to me is you," Donghyuck watched the small smile appear on Mark's adorable face. "That person is you, yeah~~~" he even kept the note long, but he kept his voice low still. 

"You... you..." Mark started mumbling the lyrics, suggesting that he wanted the younger to continue. 

"When you say "love you, love you, I love you"~ 

You make me believe..." Donghyuck couldn't stop looking at the elder. Mark had the softest looking skin ever, and he was just so cute. 

"You, you, 

When you silently, silently look into my eyes and laugh you make me laugh," Donghyuck wondered if Mark ever caught on to why he sang the songs that he did for him. 

"The reasons why I like you..." 

"Mark hyung!" A stray voice suddenly shouted, catching them both off guard. Jaemin's head suddenly peered around the corner of their ajar door. "There you are!" 

"What's up?" Mark glanced towards the door, but he didn't move from his position. 

"Manager-hyung just called, he said that we'll be leaving an hour later than scheduled tomorrow morning." Jaemin looked more than happy with the news that he was delivering. An extra hour in bed was always a treat. 

"Thanks for telling me." Mark smiled at the younger. 

"Donghyuck," Jaemin called out making him flinch. Donghyuck could tell that teasing hint in the other's voice, it was a was so obvious. 

"What do you want?" Donghyuck gritted his teeth, wanting nothing more than Jaemin to leave. 

"You should really save your serenades for the ladies~" Jaemin cooed, "I think Mark-hyung is immune by now!" 

Donghyuck instantly threw a pillow towards the door, which Jaemin easily avoided. Mark started laughing at the two younger members. Especially because Donghyuck had jumped up from his bed and started chasing the other. 

"Yah! Na Jaemin come back here!" Donghyuck's voice was loud throughout the dorm. "Come here now or I will really break your back!" 

Mark continued laughing, feeling his insides warm. He really liked the homely atmosphere that NCT gave him, but nothing could ever give him that warmth again. Except Donghyuck of course, since he was the reason for it in the first place. 

After about an hour Donghyuck had returned to the room, a deep furrow in his brow. Mark chuckled a little, "did Nana get away?" He asked, a cheeky tone following. 

"Jeno helped him." Donghyuck pouted a little, "it was unfair. Why didn't anyone come to help me out... fucking brats." 

"The fans would be shocked if they knew how much of a bad mouth you have." Mark chuckled. 

"Pffft!" Donghyuck flopped back down onto his bed. They'd become roommates again only a week ago, since Jaehyun really wanted Taeyong back from Mark. "The fans know that I am 18 in June." He wasn't a child, and he liked to remind every member as soon as he got the chance. 

"You're still a baby." Mark smirked, knowing just how to annoy the younger. 

"What did you say, hyung?" Donghyuck narrowed his eyes, standing up from his bed. 

"Nothing, nothing." Mark waved his hands nonchalantly. Donghyuck suddenly jumped on Mark, pinning his wrists to the bed. Donghyuck was now on top of the elder, the two of them just staring at each other. 

Mark felt his breath catch in his throat, looking into those deep brown eyes. Donghyuck was actually really handsome, from his features to his attitude. He may put on a sassy tone to play up with his hyungs, dongsaengs and the cameras, but Donghyuck was also extremely caring and adorable. 

"Donghyuck... you're so cute." Mark's eyes lidded as he looked up at the younger. 

"And you're really pretty, hyung." Donghyuck answered back, smiling down at the elder. They just seemed to stare for a while, the outside was already dark, only the sounds of passing cars were heard. 

"Donghyuck," Mark spoke up again, "I need to tell you something." 

"What is it?" Donghyuck released Mark's wrists, sitting back a little just as the elder sat up. Donghyuck was bascailly sat in the elder's lap, waiting for him to continue. 

"I... Well, I... uh..." Mark couldn't find the right words. He knew what words he should use, but he just couldn't force them out of his mouth. "I... and you..." 

Donghyuck suddenly ruffled the Mark's hair catching him off guard and making him stiffen up. "Don't force yourself to say anything, hyung." He bonked his forehead against Mark's making the elder blush. "It'll come when the time is right." 

The time is now... Mark couldn't force anymore words, he needed to say something. "Sing for me." 

Donghyuck laughed, hearty and beautiful. "Really, hyung?" He climbed off Mark's lap and walked over towards his own again. He flopped down in his bed, turning his head towards the elder. 

Mark was looking at the younger, eyes wide as he waited. "Sing, Donghyuckkie." 

Donghyuck's cheeks turned pink and he laid on his back, looking up at the ceiling. "Tell me what to do..." He started singing SHINee's "Tell Me What To Do", his voice low and soft. "These days, I don't know, I don't know you...  
You look like you gave up on a lot of things..." 

Mark closed his eyes listening to the younger's soft vocal. "But I hear your silent scream,  
Tell me what to do..." 

Donghyuck could tell that Mark was already asleep, his breathing soft. He looked really peaceful, calm and beautiful. "Tell me what to do, hyung?" The younger whispered, before his own eyes closed. 

~ 

The extra hour they had in bed was definitely worth it, but at the same time it was annoying. They still had to get up and it was hell. Mark dragged himself into the sitting position, his head pounding for some reason. 

 

"G'morn..." Mark turned to the bed beside his own, only to see that Donghyuck was already gone. Mark furrowed his brows but didn't think too much about it. He quickly got dressed and made his way towards the kitchen. 

"Hey, Mark-hyung." Renjun greeted, since he was the first to notice him. 

"Where is everyone else?" Mark asked, sitting down on the sofa beside Jisung. The maknae was too engrossed listening to his iPod to even pay attention to the surroundings. 

"All the other hyungs are at dance practice." Chenle answered, looking at his phone and texting away to god knows who. 

"Just Dream today." Jeno grinned from the table, "Manager-hyung will be here soon to take us to the studio." 

"Where's Donghyuck?" Mark noticed that one of the Dreamies were missing, his dreamie. 

"He's in the bathroom." Jaemin answered, stealing some of Jeno's toast as he did, not that the other minded. 

Mark walked over towards the bathroom, seeing that the door was slightly ajar. "Donghyuck?" He peered around the door. Donghyuck was leaning over the sink, gripping hard to the porcelain. 

Mark nearly ran into the bathroom, gripping onto the younger's shoulder. "Are you okay?" He was suddenly racked with worry, seeing as though the younger was always the bright sunshine in the morning. 

"I'm fine." Donghyuck smiled towards the elder, though his eyes looked a little dark. "I just feel like something bad might happen today." He turned back to the sink, looking down at the water in there. 

"What makes you think so?" Mark was worried about the younger's sudden words. 

"Just a strange feeling." Donghyuck smiled, tapping Mark's shoulder before exiting the bathroom. Mark watched the younger go, watching him lean over Jaemin making him whine annoyingly. 

Mark wondered what all of that was about. Donghyuck was never pessimistic, never. It was weird for him to just turn a complete 180 like that, and it worried Mark more than it probably should have. 

Only a few minutes later did the manager show up. "Alright boys, let's go." He looked as though he had rushed over, so it wasn't strange for him to be shoveling them out. Marl grabbed some toast on the way out, since he didn't have time for breakfast. 

The seven members piled into the van, Mark in the front with the manager who was telling him all about their schedule for the rest of the day. Mark couldn't help but glance back at the younger members. 

Chenle, Renjun and Jisung were sat behind Mark and the manager. Jisung was in the middle, his head laying on Renjun's shoulder, snoozing away. Chenle was on his phone, just doing whatever he wanted. On the row behind, Jeno and Jaemin were chatting away happily – Jeno was so happy to have Jaemin back on the stage with them. Donghyuck was looking out the window, his eyes looking blank as he just stared. 

Mark wanted to ask the younger if he was okay, but he didn't want to yell over the other members. They didn't all need to know that Donghyuck was being pessimistic, though it was still weird. 

When they'd reached the studio, the manager led them towards their designated room. "Okay, guys. Everyone set up and get ready. Mark, you get set up in the mic room." 

Mark did as he was told, standing at the other side of the glass. As the recordings got under way, Donghyuck's mood seemed to lift a little. Mark had been keeping a close eye on him, making sure that he was actually okay. 

When it was Donghyuck's turn to record, Mark made sure to sit by the producer. "Okay, Haechan. Let's make this a good one." 

"Always." Donghyuck grinned. He did a few vocal warm ups before giving the producer a thumb up. Mark pulled his headphones on, wanting to hear Donghyuck's voice loud and proud. 

Donghyuck noticed Mark's shift through the window, putting the headphones on his head fast as lightning. Donghyuck smiled, only just holding back the laugh that wanted to escape. The producer pressed the button and music filled Donghyuck's ears, his voice following right on cue. 

Mark smiled as soon as Donghyuck's sweet voice filled his ears. He leaned back in his chair, his eyes closing as the younger's voice carried on. Donghyuck watched Mark through the window as he sang, suddenly the elder's eyes opened locking with Donghyuck's straight away. 

"Uh... ah... I..." Donghyuck's cheeks turned pink and his voice fluttered into nothing. Mark's eyes widened with worry again. 

"Haechan, what happened?" The producer asked. "Did you misplace your breathing?" 

"N-no, I'm sorry." Donghyuck bowed to the producer. He ignored the rest of Dream staring at him through the window, especially Mark. The eldest had gotten to his feet, like he was about to come and get Donghyuck. 

The producer had decided to give Donghyuck a break, bringing in Chenle for his lines instead. "Don't worry about it, hyung." Chenle said as he entered the recording room and Donghyuck left. 

Before Mark could even grab Donghyuck, the younger had excused himself to the bathroom. "Did he only just go?" Mark questioned Jaemin. 

"Yeah, he probably didn't get far." Jaemin shrugged, leaning back on the sofa. Jeno's head was on his lap as he slept, snoring softly. Seriously that kid could sleep anywhere. 

Mark waklled out into the corridor, only to see Donghyuck leaning against the wall. Renjun was with him, and it sounded like the two were talking about something serious. The elder halted his steps, going into super stealth mode. He hid behind one of the conveniently placed potted bushes that were just tall enough to hide his entire figure. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Renjun asked, "I could talk to manager-hyung for you. Maybe you should go home and rest." 

"No, it's okay. I'm fine." Donghyuck smiled. 

"Something is up with you two." Renjun concluded, side eyeing the younger. 

"I told you," Donghyuck chuckled forcibly, "there's nothing wrong with us. Everything is perfectly fine, trust me." 

Us? You two? Mark thought to himself as he leaned against the wall. Who were they talking about? Was Donghyuck involved with someone else that Mark didn't know about? But Renjun knew, and Renjun was giving advice...? Wasn't Mark Donghyuck's best friend? 

"Well you better not mess up again." Renjun playfully smacked Donghyuck's head, making the younger chuckle. 

"I won't, I won't." Donghyuck shook his head to emphasize. Renjun just nodded, before throwing an arm around the younger's shoulders. They walked towards Mark's direction, who knew that he couldn't escape. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, trying his best to look casual. 

"Mark-hyung?" Renjun noticed him first, and Donghyuck immediately froze. Renjun felt the younger tense, and he quickly let go of him. "How long have you been standing there, hyung?" 

"I just came to see if Donghyuck was okay," Mark looked up trying to keep a nonchalnt look on his face. "But it looked like you handling the situation, so I didn't want to interrupt." 

"Oh," Renjun looked to Donghyuck before back to Mark. "Ah, I gotta go, it's probably time for my recording." He managed to escape leaving the other two alone in the corridor. It would be better to let them talk. 

Mark watched Renjun disappear back into the studio, the door shutting behind him. Donghyuck was looking down at the floor, but thankfully he was the first to speak. "How... how much did you hear?" 

"Not much." Mark didn't lie, he wasn't even sure what the youngers were talking about. "Just things that sounded like it concerned someone else as well as you." His tone came across a lot colder than he intended, but he couldn't help it. There was a burning sensation in his stomach and made him feel awful. 

"Oh, that..." Donghyuck ruffled the back of his hair, a small sigh escaping from his lips. "Don't stress yourself about it, it's not important." 

But it's important enough for Renjun to know about it? Mark held back his thoughts, knowing how jealous they sounded. He was jealous of Renjun, really? What was he, a kid!? 

"Let's head back." Donghyuck suggested already turning away. Mark suddenly grabbed the younger's wrist, stopping him dead in his tracks. 

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Mark squeezed the younger's wrist a little, just to make sure. 

"I know." Donghyuck replied easily, pulling his hand away from the elder's. "I promise that I will tell you everything, just not now." 

"Why?" Mark didn't want to push the younger, but something inside him was impatient. 

"It'll come when the time is right." Donghyuck said simply, making Mark's body tense. Those were the exact words he'd said to him. Mark placed his hand back at his side, thinking over everything. 

Donghyuck started walking back to the studio, glancing back at Mark as he did. "I'll be there in a second." The elder said, though he was staring at the wall. Donghyuck didn't want to say anything so he just nodded, leaving Mark out on his own. 

The rest of the day suddenly felt pretty awkward. Donghyuck had done his best to avoid Mark, though the elder wasn't sure why. Did Donghyuck think that he knew something, because he didn't. He was coming up with his own conclusions in his head and they were making him more and more irritated. 

What if the two and us referred to a girl? What if Donghyuck had a girlfriend on the side that SM didn't know about? Mark gritted his teeth, irritated at the very thought. He hoped that his imagination was lying to him; there was no way Donghyuck had a girlfriend, no way, no way. But what if he did?! 

Maybe Mark was too slow with his confession. They'd known each other for years now, and Mark had put a name to his feelings years ago, too. He just hadn't relayed them to the younger. A part of him had always thought that Donghyuck would confess to him, and for some reason he preferred it that way. Mark was so scared of getting rejected from Donghyuck, so scared of ruining everything that they had achieved together. 

"How about we get barbecue on the way back tonight." The manager stated as he and the seven members walked back to their minibus. 

"Yes please!" Jisung sang, already jumping around in excitement. 

"I could eat the whole cow." Chenle said, patting his belly as he did. 

"Hyung, you are the best!" Jeno was jumping around the manager, happy with their ticket for the evening. 

"Okay then, but we better hurry." The manager ushered them into the minivan. 

"Shotgun!" Donghyuck suddenly shouted, catching everyone off guard. Donghyuck never rode in the front, ever. 

"You're not sleeping in the back today?" Jaemin questioned, voicing out everyone's thoughts. 

"I'm gonna sit in the front." Donghyuck just grinned, already climbing into the passenger seat. Jisung, Renjun and Chenle were at the back this time, while the remaining three were in the middle row. 

Mark sat behind Donghyuck's seat, trying to look over the younger but he kept his head down. Jeno was sat in between Mark and Jaemin, making it easier to ask his question stealthily. "Do you know what's up with, Donghyuck?" Jeno asked, keeping his voice barely above a whisper. 

"I don't know." Mark answered with a worried tone. His voice was still low, though he saw that Donghyuck had his headphones on. 

"Should we be worried?" Jaemin added, making the eldest turn to him.

"Worried about what?" Mark furrowed his brows. 

"Well, you know." Jaemin waved his hand as he tried to describe. "If you guys have fallen out or whatever. I don't wanna be the one that tells Taeyong-hyung that you're fighting." 

"We're not fighting." Mark clarified, turning back to stare at Donghyuck's head. He had so many questions that he wanted to ask, but now in the minivan would probably be embarrassing for both of them. 

Mark leaned forwards a bit, tapping Donghyuck on the shoulder. The younger glanced behind him, taking off his headphones as he did. "Yeah?" He questioned. Mark immediately noticed that Donghyuck couldn't hold his gaze for long, glancing randomly at Jeno from time to time. 

"When we get back to the dorm I have something to tell you." Mark spoke with the confidence he didn't feel. Jisung and Chenle started cooing from the backseats, which Mark ignored. 

"S-sure." Donghyuck nodded, a small smile coming to his face. Mark knew that it wasn't a happy smile; did Donghyuck think he was gonna shout at him or something? 

"Hyung watch out!" Jaemin suddenly screamed at the manager, just as Donghyuck turned back around.  


	2. II

Before anyone could even react to Jaemin's screech, the van was hit by a force so strong it flung the vehicle off the road. The minibus flipped onto its side and continued rolling, half way down the road. After what felt like forever the van came to a halt. 

Mark couldn't seem to hear anything but sirens in the distance. He forced his eyes open, open to be met by his blurry vision. He wasn't even in the van anymore... the door had somehow ripped off and he was a few metres away. 

Mark couldn't seem to move his body; the van was so close and yet do far. The front was completely smashed in, looking as though they'd collided with a brick wall. "Uh..." Mark pushed at the gravel with his hands but his body felt too heavy to move. 

"Hyung...!" Jisung's voice. "Hyung!" The maknae's voice was heard but Mark couldn't see him. 

Mark pulled himself forwards a little, only to see Donghyuck. The younger was still in the front of the van, his eyes closed and forehead bleeding. "Dongh..." Mark couldn't see any of the others. 

"Mark-hyung!" Renjun suddenly appeared, limping towards the elder. "Hyung the ambulance is on the way!" 

Mark looked up at Renjun, seeing the gash down his face. Mark tried to get up again but it was difficult. "The... others...?" The eldest managed. 

"We... we're..." Renjun motioned behind him. Jisung had an arm around Jeno, and Jaemin had his arm around Chenle. "We can't get into the front..." Renjun had tears in his eyes. "Donghyuck and hyung are trapped." 

Mark sat up with Renjun's help, his eyes still unfocused and confused. He didn't know what was happening or how to react. the sirens got closer, and suddenly there were paramedics all around the six of them. 

"Please help our hyungs!" Jisung cried out as a paramedic came towards them first. 

The six members were ushered into an ambulance as the others started to try and get into the front of the minibus. Mark was just staring outside the ambulance, waiting for Donghyuck to appear but it just didn't seem to happen. 

"We're going to take you to the hospital to get checked over." A paramedic said as he shut the doors to their ambulance. 

"No!" Mark snapped, trying to get to his feet but his legs felt like jelly. This can't be happening. "We can't go without Donghyuck and our manager!" 

"They will be fine." The paramedic tried to reassure. Mark watched as the team of paramedics, and now firemen had freed their manager from the wreckage. The middle-aged man was rushed straight into an ambulance, that sped off without warning. 

"Where is Donghyuck-hyung...?" Jisung whimpered, looking out of the back windows. 

"Start her up!" The paramedic suddenly shouted, locking the doors as he did. The ambulance's engine started up, the sirens coming on. 

"No! We can't leave him!" Mark forced himself to his feet, only to stumble into the backdoors of the ambulance. Jisung was there to catch most of the elder's weight but it didn't help so much. 

"Please sit down, your friend will be well looked after." The paramedic tried to reassure. Mark could feel his stomach drop; the paramedic had changed from saying that Donghyuck would be fine to saying he'd be looked after. 

Mark's eyes suddenly felt heavy. He felt faint. He was going to faint. "Mark-hyung!" Jisung called out to him but he was already completely out of it. 

~ 

When Mark came around, his eyes opened wide as he stared up at the white ceiling. He forced himself to sit up, ignoring the heavy feeling of his body. "Where...?" He looked around, only to see other beds and doctor equipment. 

"Mark, you're awake!" Johnny's voice sounded. He'd just walked through the door, holding what looked like a jello cup. 

"Johnny... hyung..." Mark furrowed his brows, squinting a little to make out Johnny's features. 

"Oh thank god!" Johnny ran over to the hospital bed, wrapping his arms around the younger. Mark instantly felt tears in his eyes, gripping hard to Johnny. 

"What's happen-?" Taeyong's voice instantly cut off and he ran to Mark's side. The younger was pulled into another hug. 

"Where are the others?" Mark suddenly pushed to two elders away. "Where's Dream? Manager hyung? Donghyuck?!" He was beginning to struggle, but Taeyong was holding him too tightly. 

"Relax, they're here. They're okay." Taeyong cooed, stroking Mark's hair. "Relax yourself." 

"Where is Donghyuck, I never saw him, he was trapped, I could-" 

"Mark." Taeyong used a sterner tone. "He is fine, you just need to calm down first. Please, you've just had a horrible accident." 

Mark actually took the time to look down at himself. He saw that his forearms were bandaged, only a dull red on the white. "I'm... hurt...?" 

"You have abrasions on both of your arms." Johnny explained, making Mark look down at his arms, moving them both slowly. "But they're not that serious, they will fully heal in a couple of weeks." 

"And the others?" Mark's eyes were searching Johnny's, who looked reluctant to say. 

"Let's go see them." Taeyong suggested, a soft smile on his face. Mark's face lit up at that, and immediately threw the blanket off of himslef. 

Johnny and Taeyong both stayed at either side, helping him whenever he stumbled. They took him towards another room, a larger one where the majority of the members were, only Jaemin and Renjun weren't there. 

"Mark-hyung!" Jisung ran straight to the elder, hugging him tightly. Mark immediately hugged back, tears threatening to spill. 

"Jisunggie..." Mark whimpered. 

"You're okay, thank god." Jeno appeared behind Jisung, his usual eye smile. Chenle was beside Jeno, gripping onto his arm; he stilled looked pretty shaken. They all had a few bandaged here and there but apart from that they looked kind of okay. 

"Where are the others?" Mark asked, looking around at all the older members. 

"They are in the other room." Yuta pointed with his thumb to the room opposite the one that they were in. He didn't look so happy about everything, in fact he almost looked worried. Ten patted the Japanese man's shoulder, but it didn't help so much. 

"What's wrong?" Mark questioned, seeing as though everyone had got quiet. 

"Ah, Mark-hyung?" Renjun's voice sounded from the doorway. Mark turned around, seeing Renjun being propped up by Jaemin. 

"Renjun, Jaemin." Mark smiled, pulling them into a hug. "Are you okay?" He glanced down at Renjun, seeing that he had a bandage around his leg; easily visible since he was wearing shorts. 

"Just a sprained ankle." Renjun smiled, though it was only small. 

"Jaemin?" Mark looked to the said younger, seeing as though Jaemin was looking away to the side. 

Mark quickly glanced around everyone, seeing them all glance to one another. "Where is Donghyuck?" Mark questioned, looking back out to the door to the opposite room. 

"Okay, Mark." Jaehyun spoke up this time. "You have to promise that you won't overreact, okay?" That immediately made Mark's heart drop. What had happened that would make him overreact? 

"I... won't...?" Mark answered, a little unsure of himself. 

"Just know that he's more upset about it then you will be, okay?" Jaehyun wanted to make sure that Mark was completely understanding. 

Mark shoved away from Johnny and Taeyong, making his way towards the opposite room. The other members all looked wary of Mark's approach like he was walking into a bear's den. 

"Donghyuck?" Mark's voice was soft as he opened the door. His eyes instantly locked eyes with Donghyuck's, who was sat up in his hospital bed. Donghyuck smiled upon seeing the elder, who smiled just as wide. 

Mark made his way further into the room, looking over the younger. Donghyuck had a bandage around his head, a dull red from where the blood had slightly seeped through. 

"Are you feeling okay?" Mark questioned, stopping at the side of the bed. Donghyuck looked up at elder, his eyes already glistening with tears. "Donghyuckie...?" Mark didn't understand why the younger was crying again. Was he hurting? 

Mark crouched down a little beside the bed, "does it still hurt?" Donghyuck shook his head, the tears slowly rolling down his face. Mark perched onto the bed, his hands holding the younger's face. He gently glided his thumbs under Donghyuck's eyes, wiping the tears gently. 

Donghyuck shook his head, the tears still rolling. Mark leaned a little closer to the younger, his eyes trying to search for Donghyuck's. "Hey, can you say something?" He was still feeling very worried about it all. 

Donghyuck's eyes widened at that. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Mark furrowed his brows, wondering what the younger was doing. 

"Donghyuck...?" Mark watched as the younger looked away. 

"Mark, I think Donghyuck needs more rest." Jungwoo appeared in the room, trying to look over the younger. 

"Donghyuck, why won't you talk to me?" Mark questioned, ignoring the elder behind him. 

"Mark." Taeyong's voice sounded now. 

"Please say something, Donghyuck?" Mark felt his eyes well up with unshed tears. "Please, Hyuck!?" 

Donghyuck placed his hand on Mark's head, barely ruffling his hair. Mark finally let the tears go, the streams rolling down his face. "Hyuck... sing please..." His voice was whispery and shaky. 

Donghyuck just gave a sad smile. Mark shook his head, "why did you sit in the front?!" He suddenly exploded, catching the rest of the member's off guard; Donghyuck seemed unfazed by the reaction. "I always sit in the front! Why did you call shotgun! What were you thinking?! This wouldn't have happened to you if I had-" 

Donghyuck pressed a finger to Mark's lips, stopping him mid-rant. Mark had even more tears. "I should have been the one... I should..." Mark sniffled, holding a hand over his face. 

Donghyuck patted the elder's head again, feeling Mark's entire body tremble. "Why didn't I sit in the front...?" The elder was a wreck now. "Why, Donghyuck...?" 

The younger's hand started quivering, no longer knowing how to comfort Mark. "Why!?" Mark suddenly grabbed Donghyuck's collar, holding him tightly. 

"Mark!" The other members piled into the room. Lucas was the one that grabbed Mark, pulling him away from Donghyuck. Mark struggled in the taller's grip, but he didn't stop his ranting. 

"Why did you do it!? It should have been me! Why, Donghyuck!? Tell me why you had to sit in the front!? Talk to me! Tell me! Donghyuck!" 

"Mark, calm down!" Lucas was dragging the younger out of the room at this point. Mark was crying and kicking abut, trying his best to get out of Lucas's grip. 

 

"No! N-no! Donghyuck!" Mark was carried down the corridor, his voice echoing down the walls. 

Donghyuck dropped his head back down, looking at his lap. Taeil was the first to approach, placing a hand on the younger's shoulder. "Don't worry, the doctor said that you will recover." 

Donghyuck just nodded. He had concussion, a fractured shin and his voice had disappeared. The doctor said that he would recover in just over six months for his fracture, and only a couple of weeks for his concussion. They'd come to the conclusion that his voice was more of a mental thing, and he would overcome it in his own time. That was the only one without an actual time limit. 

"You will need to stay in the hospital for the rest of the week." Taeil grabbed the clipboard at the end of Donghyuck's bed. "Then you can come home to the dorm and have some time off." Donghyuck nodded, since he couldn't word his thoughts. Taeil smiled at the younger, patting his shoulder. 

"We will come and visit whenever we can," Yuta said from the crowd of members. 

"There will always be someone." Winwin added, seeing sweetly. That guy was literally made of sugar, in his own way. 

Donghyuck nodded again. He opened his mouth but no sound obviously came out. He was mute from now on. Donghyuck needed to get to the bottom of this muteness, he needed to tell Mark everything. He didn't mean for things to turn out this way. That bad feeling, he had in the morning was right on the nose, he followed his gut and now this is where they got. 

I'm glad it wasn't Mark... Donghyuck rubbed his eyes, feeling his body become heavier. If it was Mark in his situation, Donghyuck would never have forgiven himself for feeling as though something was wrong. No matter what, Donghyuck would protect Mark. 

~ 

Mark was sat on his bed, hugging his knees to his chest. He was just staring aimlessly at his knees, his vision blurred and sore. The curtains were closed and the lights off, leaving the room in complete darkness. 

It didn't feel right being in the room by himself. He didn't want any of the others to share his room while Donghyuck was gone. The younger would be back tomorrow, and Mark wasn't sure how to react. 

"Mark?" Jeno opened the door quietly. "Are you okay?" 

"Fine." Mark answered quick and fast. He'd spent the past week secluded, even during dance practices he was still completely off. 

Jeno sighed, walking into the room. He sat down on Mark's bed, the elder not having any time of reaction. "Mark hyung?" Jeno tried again but still came across with silence. 

"Am I... a bad person?" Mark questioned. 

"What!? No! Why would you say that?" Jeno felt outranged at the elder's sudden tone. 

"For not... being 110% in practice..." Mark mumbled, his eyes glancing over towards Donghyuck's bed. "I... I let you guys down..." 

"Shut up, hyung!" Jeno scolded, clenching his hands on his jeans. "You've let no one down?" He sighed, "Manager-hyung was let out the hospital today, and Donghyuck wanted to come with him." 

"What?" Mark's head looked up at that. Their manager had broken both his legs but he was still content on doing his work. They had a replacement sure, but he called in everyday to back sure their schedule was being kept. 

"Taeyong and Jaehyun are on their way to the hospital now to get them." Jeno informed, before getting back to his feet. "So please stop beating yourself up about this, hyung. The corner of your eyes is stupidly red." 

Mark immediately looked away from Jeno's field of vision, making the younger chuckle at him. "They'll be here soon." Jeno put his hands in his pockets, "you'll be okay right, hyung?" 

Mark nodded, his arms tightening around his legs. He wasn't sure if he could handle seeing Donghyuck right now. He might just break down and cry. He couldn't forget about Donghyuck's form in that van. Mark always sat in the front, always. 

After a few more minutes, the sound of the door opening sounded. Mark listened closely, hearing all the hyungs talk to who he assumed was Donghyuck. He could feel his heart beat accelerating, just thinking that the younger was in the building. 

"Are you sure you should be walking without a crutch?" Taeyong's voice. 

"Do you want anything to eat?" Ten. 

"Let him at least breathe guys." Yuta's laugh. 

Mark listened to the sound of footsteps coming towards the room. The door creaked open, making the room feel emptier than before. Donghyuck looked over Mark curled up on his bed, staring at his knees again. 

Donghyuck sighed, only a small sound coming out. Mark, what have you done to yourself? He walked over to the elder, standing above him. Mark turned his head towards the wall; he couldn't bring himself to look at the younger. 

Donghyuck opened his mouth, but no words came out. He reached out for the elder but quickly retracted his hand. He didn't know what to do to make Mark feel better, they'd left on quite a heavy atmosphere at the hospital. 

"I..." Mark's voice suddenly sounded, catching the younger's attention straight away. "I'm really sorry, Donghyuck. I shouldn't have yelled at you." He had been racked with guilt ever since he left the hospital. 

Donghyuck shook his head, a small sound of disapproval the only noise. "It's my fault that this happened. I should have been the one that..." Mark bit his lip, tears starting to well again. 

Donghyuck suddenly grabbed the elder, hugging his head close. He was shaking head profoundly. He didn't want Mark to blame himself, that was the last thing he wanted. 

Mark's eyes widened, feeling Donghyuck's warmth beside him. The younger started petting his head, like he was trying to comfort him. Mark released his legs, slowly pulling away from Donghyuck's grip. He got to his feet, standing right in front of the younger. 

Donghyuck looked up at his hyung, seeing the red rims of his eyes. Was he crying because of this? Mark glanced away, feeling uncomfortable under the younger's gaze. "I'm sorry, Donghyuck." 

Mark stepped past the younger, leaving him on his own. Donghyuck turned around fast, only to see Mark leaving the room. Did he not want to be in the same room with him? 

Donghyuck gritted his teeth, suddenly kicking the bed's leg with his good leg. He sat down on Mark's bed, his head in his hands. He wanted to say so many things to Mark. He wanted the elder to know that none of this was his fault, it was Donghyuck's choice. 

"Donghyuck?" A soft voice called from the direction of the door. Donghyuck looked up seeing Ten walking towards him. The elder sat on Donghyuck's bed, sitting completely opposite the younger. 

Donghyuck just stared at the elder, seeing a small smile appear on his face. "Are you okay?" Ten questioned, studying the younger's expression. "Did something happen with Mark?" 

Donghyuck shook his head, but his tears were threatening to spill out again. Ten sighed, pulling a little notepad and pen out of his hoodie pocket. "You need to let your voice rest, so for now can you write what happened?" He held out the notepad. 

Donghyuck paused for a second before eventually taking the pad. He began scribbling down words, wanting to tell Ten what he was concerned about. 

I don't want Mark hyung to blame himself for anything that's happened to me. This happened by accident and I chose to sit in the front with the manager. I will get better, I promise. I'm trying to sing for him again, but the sound just won't come. I'm trying I promise. 

Ten read through the short note, feeling what Donghyuck did through his words. "I see." He had a feeling that Mark was blaming himself, but Donghyuck was right. It wasn't their fault that this accident happened. 

Donghyuck gripped at his joggers, feeling weak all of a sudden. Ten passed the notepad back, closed. "Would you like me to talk to Mark?" He offered, since Donghyuck wasn't in the right state too. 

The younger shook his head, looking up at Ten. Donghyuck gestured to the notebook, a small smile appearing. "You're gonna tell him?" Ten guessed, getting a nod from the younger in return. 

Ten stood up at that, ruffling Donghyuck's hair. "Make sure to get plenty of rest. We're gonna have dinner in a couple hours, so you just chill till then." 

Donghyuck's smile widened, nodding at the elder. Ten chuckled before making his way out of the room, leaving Donghyuck alone. He got off of Mark's bed and got onto his own, laying on the duvet and looking up at the ceiling. 

Dinner was a little bit awkward... The Dreamies were all sat around Donghyuck making sure that he was okay. All excpet Mark of course, who was sat on the sofa between Taeyong and Jaehyun, much to their dismay. 

Donghyuck kept glancing over to Mark. He just wanted to shout out to him, but he knew that it would be useless. He just gave up listening to Jisung and Chenle argue instead. 

The rest of the day seemed to fade away pretty fast, the night coming sooner than Mark would have liked. Mark had finished up in the bathroom and got straight into bed, covering himself completely with his duvet. 

Donghyuck entered a few minutes later. He looked over to Mark seeing his back facing him. He sighed again, getting into his own bed. Donghyuck laid down, pulling his duvet over himself. He turned his head towards Mark, only to feel startled. Mark had turned to face him, his eyes still visible in the dimly lit room. 

Donghyuck gave the elder a confused face. "..." He opened his mouth, trying to force words out, but once again it was a fail. He gritted his teeth, annoyed at his inability. 

"Goodnight, Donghyuck." Mark suddenly said, making the younger stare at him. "Have a sweet dream, okay?" 

Donghyuck could already feel tears in his eyes. Why was this so hard? Why wouldn't his voice work. Mark watched the younger have an internal conflict. He shuffled a little, capturing the younger's attention again.

"Donghyuckkie," Mark whispered, "sing for me...?" 

Donghyuck opened his mouth again, but still nothing. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling completely useless. Mark smiled a little. "Don't force yourself. It'll come when the time is right." 

Donghyuck's eyes widened at that, his heart clenching. He gritted his teeth again. "Sleep well, Hyuck." Mark left off, turning around and facing the wall again. 

Mark hyung... Donghyuck closed his eyes, knowing that he should sleep now, but it was still painful. He wanted to tell Mark everything, absolutely everything. Goodnight ...


	3. III

4 months. It had been 4 months since the accident, and they were all recovering well. Donghyuck was still mute, but his fracture was mostly healed completely. He was even allowed to go to dance practice, as long as he didn’t go all out and make his injury worse. 

SM had decided to keep the focus on NCT U for now, since Donghyuck wasn’t in that subunit. Donghyuck was also a little thankful. Mark was in every sub unit, so he had to practice and participate in NCT U promotions at the moment. Donghyuck felt bad that Dream and 127 were restricted because of him, but SM didn’t want to strive conspiracies from the fans. 

Dream were currently in the practice room, even though Mark wasn’t there, they practiced like he was and left his space open. After a couple of hours, Jeno called for a break, collapsing on the floor. Jaemin gave him a water bottle before collapsing beside him. 

Donghyuck sat with his back to one of the mirrors, staring at his own water bottle. He wanted to sing along to his parts, not just dance. Why wasn’t this hell ending? It just kept going and going. It was beyond frustrating. 

"Hey, hyung." Chenle smiled, sitting beside the elder. "How are you feeling today, your leg isn't hurting is it?" Donghyuck was happy that the rest of Dream were making sure that he was okay, but he didn’t really want to bother them at all. 

"When are you going to your hospital appointment today?" Jisung asked, walking over to the elder two. Renjun was beside him, his hands lazily in his pockets. 

Donghyuck thought for a minute before pulling his small notebook out of his pocket. He started scribbling down his answer, the rest of Dream all gathering around to wait – even Jaemin and Jeno had joined the others. 

My appointment is at 4pm so I will have to go soon.  
Also, Chenle, my leg is fine already :)

"That’s always good to hear." Chenle grinned, throwing an arm around Donghyuck's shoulders. 

Jaemin pulled his phone out of his pocket, seeing that the time read 15:33. "Donghyuck, I think you better go. It’s already half past." Donghyuck's eyes widened, mouthing the words 'oh shit!' 

The rest of Dream chuckled at Donghyuck as he started gathering all of his practice stuff. He quickly made his way out of the door, skidding into the wall as he did. The doctor was only a 10-minute walk from the SM building, since it was the companies own small clinic – god how much money did they... it didn’t even matter! 

Donghyuck was told last time by the GP that he needed to be earlier than the given time, so the doctors wouldn’t have to wait around for him if he was late. He sat down on the sofa in the waiting room, sighing deeply. 

"Lee Donghyuck," one of the nurses called him in after a bit of a wait, "we're ready for your check up." 

Donghyuck smiled at the woman, standing up and following her in. As every week's checkup, it went basically the same. The doctor would ask how his leg was, and it was definitely better, almost to the point of complete recovery. 

"You've been holding back on your dancing." The doctor smiled, looking genuinely happy for the idol. 

Donghyuck bowed his head. The doctor's smile dropped a little, a sad expression washing over him. "Still no luck on the voice?" He asked, only to see Donghyuck frown. 

The doctor quickly smiled again, trying to brighten up the younger. "It'll come back soon, don’t you worry about it." He patted the idol's hair. 

Donghyuck suddenly pulled out his notebook, writing down his thoughts in sprawl. The doctor waited patiently for him to finish, before the paper was handed to him after Donghyuck ripped it out. 

I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with my voice but I just can't seem to find any reason for the problem.  
What do you think is wrong?

The doctor read over the note. "What do I think?" He thought for a second before looking at Donghyuck seriously. "I think that it has something to do with stress. If you can find the source of what is stressing you out, then I am sure that your voice will come back." 

Stress? Donghyuck wasn’t stressed, was he? Was there a part of him that was too stressed to function? The doctor smiled again. He continued the checkup until it was time for Donghyuck to leave. 

"I hope to hear from you next week." The doctor tried to be subtle, it made Donghyuck chuckle. 

The walk back to the dorm was lonely, but Donghyuck didn’t care. He had his hood up and a facemask on; there was nothing worse than if a fan saw him. He couldn’t even say hi to them, so he'd probably come across as a jerk and that would ruin his reputation and NCT's. 

Donghyuck shook his head, ignoring those kinds of thoughts. He needed to try and figure out what was causing him so much stress. Surely, there must be something was getting to him lately. Right? Bottled up inside, needs to come said out loud. To a certain someone... 

Donghyuck shook his thoughts again. No, no, no, no, no! That couldn’t be the reason... He'd kept it hidden for years now, there was no need for himself to suddenly react this way to it.

Once back in the dorm, Donghyuck decided that he was going to take a shower. Sitting through your GP appointment with your practice sweat was disgusting enough. 

Donghyuck listened for any of the other members, but it seemed as though the rest of them hadn't come back yet. Not even one member was at home - or at least awake. 

It didn't really matter anyway. Donghyuck entered his room, throwing his bag onto his bed. He quickly gathered his towel, taking it to the bathroom with him. 

Donghyuck didn't bother with a long shower. He just washed himself down fast, getting rid of all the dirt and sweat of the day. 

Thoughts of what could possibly be stressing him out were whirling in his head. There was no way that his voice would disappear over something so... Trivial? Right...?

Donghyuck sighed, turning the water off. He dried himself off a little before wrapping his towel around his waist. He rolled his eyes at forgetting his clothes but it didn't really matter so much. 

He'd only taken three steps out of the bathroom when he was suddenly face to face with Mark. Donghyuck jumped a little at the surprise, and clearly so did Mark. 

"Hyuck, you're back." Mark said, mentally smacking himself. Couldn't he have thought of anything better to say!? Back? Back from where, Mark? The shower!? 

Donghyuck nodded, his eyes darting around the place. He started glancing behind Mark, trying to see if the other members were around. 

Mark caught on to the younger's confused looks. "The others are downstairs, we're gonna go out for dinner." He answered easily. 

Donghyuck raised his eyebrows, showing that he understood. Mark sighed suddenly, ruffling the back of his hair. "I came to see if you wanted to come with?" 

Mark lowered his gaze only for his eyes to widen. He'd only just realised that Donghyuck was only in a towel. His upper body was exposed with a few water droplets rolling down his sun kissed flesh. His body really had strengthened nicely, what with his forming muscles, lean and perfect. 

Donghyuck felt his cheeks flush at Mark's stare. The elder had red ears and cheekbones too, making Donghyuck feel even more embarrassed. 

"A-are you coming?" Mark forced himself to speak and look up at the younger's eyes. Donghyuck's eyes were so dark and beautiful, he could just stare into them all day if he had the chance. 

Donghyuck nodded, quickly making his way back towards their shared bedroom. Mark just stayed stood in the corridor, raking a hand through his hair. 

"Fuck." Mark hissed through his teeth. There was so much that he wanted to tell Donghyuck, it was on the tip of his tongue. But, friendship is fragile, and Mark is a coward. 

Donghyuck returned only 5 minutes later, dressed and ready to go. His hair was still a bit damp but he didn't care, it would probably dry and the way to wherever they were going. 

The two of them left the dorm and got into the elevator. The silence was heavy, but Donghyuck couldn't even break it. He glanced over to Mark, seeing him fiddle and stare at his hands. Why did he look awkward and nervous? 

The lift pinged when they reached the ground floor. Mark was straight out of the confined space, and atmosphere between them choking him. He didn't want to feel that way around Donghyuck, he never did, but now it seemed inevitable whenever they were together. 

"There you guys are." Taeyong woke Mark up from his thoughts. 

"Let’s go, the others are probably at the restaurant." Yuta was stood beside Taeyong. They had waited for Mark and Donghyuck to arrive, along with Jaehyun and Ten.

Yuta was first to climb into the minivan, complaining about how hungry he was. Ten just laughed as he and Jaehyun followed into the backseats. Taeyong climbed into the middle, making sure to sit directly in front of Jaehyun. 

Mark gave a glance towards Donghyuck, seeing the younger just stare for a few seconds. He hasn't been back in a minivan with Mark since the accident. 

"Donghyuck..." Mark was about to reach out for the younger when he suddenly moved into the minivan. He sat beside Taeyong in the middle section, gripping onto his notebook as he did. 

Mark slowly climbed in beside him, shutting the door after himself. Donghyuck didn't look at him, he just stared down at his notebook. Mark couldn't help but watch the younger, feeling as though he needed to make sure what happened wouldn't repeat itself. 

Taeyong was watching both of them carefully, easily noticing the thick tension between them. He leaned on his palm against the window as he continued to analyse the situation. 

When they got to the restaurant the rest of the members were outside waiting for them. "About time!" Johnny shouted, grinning brightly. 

"Did you get a table?" Jaehyun asked, looking over the elder. 

"Of course, we did." Johnny laughed before making his way into the restaurant. Looked like they were having chicken tonight, not that anyone was arguing. 

Donghyuck had walked straight past Mark. He didn't want to think about the elder at the moment, he just needed a little time to himself. Maybe on the way back Donghyuck would get into the other van, just so he wouldn't have go sit with Mark and think about the accident. 

 

"Aphonia, huh?" Doyoung was reading Donghyuck's notebook, since he'd at next to him. Donghyuck had written down the majority of what the doctor had said, since he knew his hyungs would most likely ask. 

"What's aphonia?" Jeno asked, since he was sat opposite Donghyuck, in between Jaemin and Taeil. 

"Damaging the vocal cords, either physical or mental." Taeil answered, leaning over the table. Doyoung just sent him a smile, but a cocky one rather than a sweet one. Taeil just chuckled, smirking back at the younger.

Donghyuck had to resist the urge to cringe, so he went for an eyeroll instead. He glanced down the table, only to lock eyes with Mark. The elder quickly pulled his gaze away, looking back down at his plate. Donghyuck frowned but he could guess that Mark was probably listening in to Taeil and Doyoung.

“Why are you staring so intensely?” Taeyong elbowed Mark slightly, making him jump awake.

“W-what?” Mark turned to Taeyong, who was opposite him, staring at him with wide eyes. He looked as though he’d just been caught doing something that he shouldn’t have. Taeyong raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side.

“You’re acting really suspicious.” He concluded, making sure to read every single one of Mark’s expression.

“I’ve noticed too.” Jaehyun commented, leaning in from Taeyong’s left.

Mark sighed, eating a piece of chicken. “There’s nothing wrong, hyung.” He was mumbling, and it was honestly worrying. Mark was usually a hyped-up kid, but now he was moping around.

“Mark, you can’t just gloss over life.” Yuta spoke up from Taeyong’s other side.

“Just stop… it’s fine.” Mark frowned, a sigh escaping his lips. Yuta and Taeyong gave each other a worried look, seeing as though Mark was extremely down.

The rest of dinner went by pretty fast. Mark stayed in his moping mindset, so everyone decided it was best to leave him be. Donghyuck was just listening to Doyoung and Taeil chat to each other, occasionally flirting now and then, sometimes arguing. 

The members started piling into the vans, Donghyuck waited for Mark to get into the van before running towards the other. Mark watched the younger out of the window, seeing him jump on Jaemin. Another sigh passed Mark’s lips; why did Donghyuck look happy around the other members, but never him.

“You okay?” Mark had ended up sat next to Winwin. The Chinese boy was looking at him with big puppy eyes.

“Fine.” Mark muttered, his tone a little annoying. Winwin looked a little taken back, so he just slumped back in his chair.

“Sicheng?” Kun noticed Winwin’s state from his side.

“Hyung, I’m really sorry.” Mark quickly apologised, not wanting the elder to feel upset over his attitude. “I’m just a little tired these days.” Winwin sent a smile to the younger, showing that he was alright. Mark still felt guilty for snapping but he couldn’t really help it.

The van ride was pretty silent. Mark bit his lip, eyes looking out of the window again. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Doyoung and Taeil were talking about. Donghyuck had aphonia? So, there was some sort of stress related problem. Mark could make a logical guess about what the cause might be, but he didn’t really want to admit it.

Back at the dorm was even more awkward. Everyone sorted themselves out before shuffling along to their respected rooms. Mark had seen Donghyuck go straight into their room, a yawn leaving him as the door shut.

Mark knew that he needed to talk to Donghyuck about this, but it was scaring him. What if what he thought was true, and he only knew one solution. He shook his head, walking straight towards their room. He ignored Jaehyun and Taeyong staring at him and carried on with what little bravery he had left.

“Donghyuck?” Mark opened the door, only to see that the younger was shirtless. Donghyuck turned towards the elder, his cheeks pink. Mark felt his mouth go dry, his eyes looking down the younger’s abdomen.

Why did he keep running into half naked Donghyuck? Mark shook his head, clearing his thoughts. “So… its aphonia...?” He started in a crappy way, the door shutting behind him just as awkwardly. 

Donghyuck just shrugged, turning back towards his bed. He was looking for his baggy shirt since he was only in his grey joggers. Mark ruffled his own hair, just looking over Donghyuck’s back; Jesus Christ he even had a gorgeous ba- wait, what?!

"The... The cause is stress, right?" Mark carried on, watching Donghyuck pull on a large baggy hoodie. "Do you have any idea what might be stressing you out?" 

Donghyuck just shrugged again before shaking his hair after the hoodie had disheveled him. Mark flushed a little; god Donghyuck looked so cute when he- stop Mark... Stop. 

"I... I've been thinking about it." Mark rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes glancing around nervously. Donghyuck had turned to look at the elder, his eyes reflecting confusion. 

Mark bit his lip, wondering about the best way to go about this situation. "Well... I've been thinking about what might be causing you stress." He was avoiding Donghyuck's eyes now. "At first I thought you were stressing over the accident, but you seem happy around the other Dream members." 

Donghyuck could feel his stomach tighten and his heart accelerate. There was a bad feeling growing in his gut, and he learnt now that his bad feeling always led to something awful. 

"So, I'm wondering if maybe... the cause of your stress..." Mark could feel his eyes tear up a little, "is me...?" 

Donghyuck immediately started shaking his head, insisting that Mark was wrong. Mark gripped his bicep, his head hung low as he tried to hold back tears. 

"I've noticed that we've been avoiding each other." Mark whimpered slightly. "So... I was thinking that maybe your stress was my fault, and I... I'm sorry." 

Donghyuck took a step forward, only for Mark to take one back. "I... I'm gonna go... s-sleep in the Dream dorm..." He immediately turned tail and ran, straight out the room. 

Mark tumbled as he ran through the dorm, ignoring the yells from the other members. Donghyuck was running after the elder, but Jaehyun suddenly stood up and grabbed his wrist. 

Donghyuck was pulled back into Jaehyun's hold. "Hey, chill man!" He could feel Donghyuck fight against him, until he started wearing himself out. 

"What happened?" Taeyong asked, standing up from the sofa. 

Donghyuck looked panicked, his eyes darting for a way out. Jaehyun released the younger, only for him to fall to his knees. He had silent tears rolling down his face. This was what he was afraid of. He didn't want Mark to blame himself for anything. 

Mark ran straight out of the dorm and down the hall. He didn’t stop until he reached Dream’s dorm, running straight through the door and slamming it shut. He was breathing heavily and tears were streaming down his face. Why did he run? He still had stuff to say to Donghyuck, but he just ran like a kid.

Jisung looked up from the sofa, seeing Mark slip down to the floor. “Hyung?” Renjun looked up from his book at Jisung’s voice. They both looked over Mark, his head buried in his knees. A sniffle escaped him, making the two younger members stare at each other.

Renjun got up from the sofa, throwing his book on the coffee table. “Mark hyung?” He kneeled down beside the elder, his hand reaching out for his shoulder. “What happened?”

“I…” Mark lifted his head, blurry vision just making out Renjun’s face. “I think it would be better… if I stay away from him. I am the reason he can’t speak, why he can’t sing… it’s my fau-”

“What are you talking about?” Jisung questioned, standing over his crouched hyungs. “Is this about Donghyuck hyung?”

Mark physically flinched at the mention of the latter’s name. Jisung rolled his eyes, before ruffling his hair. “Mark hyung, I think you both have a lot that you gotta talk about.”

“What…?” Mark looked up at the Maknae with watery eyes. Jisung’s expression softened; he’d never seen Mark look so wrecked, he always tried to stay strong throughout everything.

“Donghyuck hyung will definitely get his voice back.” Jisung carried on. “You just need to stay calm and have a talk with him about your feelings.”

Mark felt as though he just received a punch to the gut. “Wh-what are you t-talking about?” His eyes were shifting around, like he was trying to focus on something, anything else.

“Jesus! You’re worse than all the other hyungs!” Jisung snapped suddenly, catching Mark and Renjun off guard.

“Hey,” Renjun got to his feet, placing a hand on Jisung’s shoulder instead, “you okay? You’re about to blow up.”

“I’m just… annoyed.” Jisung frowned towards Mark, who was still sat on the floor. “You need to think about your feelings, hyung and so does Donghyuck. I wish you’d all stop living with your heads in the sand. How hard can it be to come to grips with your own feelings? You’re just hurting yourselves this way!” He ended on a shout.

Mark forced himself to his feet, his eyes staring at Jisung. Jisung sniffled a little himself, “I… I don’t want you guys to be upset over this… but I love you guys and I don’t wanna see you fight for no reason.”

“Jisung…” Renjun felt sad for the younger. He pulled him into a one armed hug, causing Jisung to lean him head on the elder's. Renjun ignored the tears dripping into his hair, just letting the maknae have his moment. 

"Hey, what's going on?" Jeno's voice sounded. His head peered around his bedroom door, Jaemin right behind him. Even Chenle had come out of his room, his headphones around his neck. 

Mark looked over each of the Dream members, seeing their general concern for him. Chenle had come jogging over, noticing the tear tracks on Mark's face and his bloodshot eyes. 

"Mark hyung! Are you okay?" Chenle looked over the elder out of habit, making sure he wasn't physically hurt. 

Mark just nodded, taking a few steps into the room. "I'm gonna go to bed." He made his way towards Dream's spare room, where him and Donghyuck resided when they had Dream schedules. 

Mark closed the door behind him, a deep sigh escaping him. He sank back to the floor, his back against the door. Jisung's words were swirling in his head. He knew the maknae was right, no doubt about it. Mark needed to get a grip of his feelings. 

"Are we even still friends...?" Mark and Donghyuck had been so awkward around each other, it was making Mark feel sick inside. 

A part of him wanted to go back to just being friends, staying together like they always had. That way they could grow old with no issues, just always being friends. But that would also mean that Mark would have to let go of his feelings for Donghyuck. It would only make him miserable to hold onto one sides love forever; what if Donghyuck got married in the future? Would Mark be the best man? If so, how could he give away Donghyuck to some woman!? 

Mark chuckled to himself, on hand tangled in his hair. He leaned his head on his other arm, just staring into the room. Their Dream room was smaller than their 127 room, but it didn't matter. This was their room, and Mark couldn't help but smile. 

"I really love him..." He muttered to himself. Maybe Donghyuck's voice will never come back, but Mark was going to try out his idea first.

If Mark really was the cause, them staying out of Donghyuck's way seemed the best way forwards. He sighed, forcing himself onto his feet. There was an NCT U schedule tomorrow, so Mark should sleep early. 

Mark walked over towards his bed, but suddenly stopped himself. He turned back to Donghyuck's bed, seeing one of the younger's baggy hoodies on the pillow. 

Mark bit his lip, glancing back towards the door. He quickly grabbed the hoodie, pulling it over his head and wearing the warm comfort. Just had he'd hoped, it felt as if Donghyuck was enveloping him in a hug. The warmth, the scent. It was all Lee Donghyuck. 

Mark flopped down onto the younger's bed, his eyes closing. He breathed gently, already letting sleep take him. Maybe tomorrow would be better. If he focused on work then he would be able to at least distract himself.


	4. IV

Mark wasn't in his right frame of mind. He'd forgotten to take his phone to the Dream dorm, so he'd woken up late for his schedule. Taeyong had stormed in and dragged him out of bed, not even having time to question anything. 

The drive to their U schedule was even worse. Mark sat listlessly, staring out of the window and watching the world go by. Jaehyun had asked multiple times if he was okay, but Mark had just brushed him off. 

Taeyong frowned, wanting to say something, but Doyoung had held him back. Mark's mind was too busy thinking over what it was that needed to be done. He wanted to do what Jisung had suggested, since he didn't want to live with his head in the sand. It was just the courage to confess that was difficult. 

Thankfully the schedule for today was only a magazine shoot. "Even 127 and Dream could do a photo shoot, right?" Lucas was talking to Jungwoo, who just agreed with whatever he said. 

Mark glanced towards the two elders. Lucas surprisingly had a point; Donghyuck didn't need to talk to have his photo taken, but he also couldn't greet the staff. SM had made it a point to keep Donghyuck's condition out of the light, so no one else knew about it. 

"Okay, lets do individual shots!" The camera man declared, already ushering Winwin in front of the camera. 

Mark just slumped in his chair by the window, watching a couple of birds fly past. They almost looked as though they were dancing around each other, enjoying them freedom. 

"Hey, Mark." Jaehyun appeared beside the younger, though he didn't get a reply. "What's up with you today, man? You wanna talk about what happened yesterday?" 

Mark instantly froze at that, his big eyes staring up at his hyung. Jaehyun kept a calm expression, waiting for Mark to say or do anything. He slowly turned back to the window, trying to control his heart and breathing. 

"Nothing happened yesterday." Mark concluded after what felt like far too long. 

"You ran out of the dorm crying." Jaehyun reminded, causing the younger to tense up again. "If you're gonna sit there and tell me that's nothing, then you must think that I am an idiot." 

Sometimes Mark wished that Jaehyun was an idiot. But unfortunately for him, the elder wasn't an idiot. "It's fine, I just got a little emotional yesterday. That's all." Mark was finding it hard to keep his voice steady. 

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow, his hands casually in his pockets. "I'm not gonna force you to tell me what you and Donghyuck talked about." Mark flinched at the younger's name - hopefully it would go unnoticed. 

Jaehyun obviously noticed, but he decided to give Mark a break and continue instead. "But, whatever it is between you guys, you gotta figure it out. It's so obvious that you're both unhappy like this." 

"We're fine." That was a lie. A big, fat, obvious lie. Mark knew that the elder wouldn't buy it, but what could he do at this moment in time? 

"I checked on Donghyuck this morning." Taeyong suddenly appeared beside Jaehyun, watching Mark with intense eyes. "He had bags under his eyes and the corners were red. He looked as though he cried himself to sleep. If he slept at all." 

Jaehyun sighed; that probably was what Mark needed to hear, but maybe in a softer way. Mark's eyes had gone from looking out the window to his lap, finding it hard to even think straight. 

"Maybe you should take a break." Jaehyun suggested, seeing as though Mark looked close to passing out. "Get a bit of fresh air." 

"I... I think I might." Mark needed to clear his head, or at least his lungs for a couple of minutes. 

"Need someone to go with you?" Taeyong wasn't 100% comfortable letting one member wander off in a building they weren't familiar with. 

"No, I'll be fine." Mark smiled weakly. "I saw that the corridor window was open, I'll go stand by it for a bit." Reassuring the elder that he was staying on the same floor, just outside the room, made Taeyong more at ease. 

Mark walked past all of the other members and staff, focusing on just getting out of there. He needed to come back to his senses; this was work dammit! Work! 

Just as he'd remembered, the window at the far end of the corridor beside the elevators was opened. Since they were on the third floor the window didn't open fully, but it was enough to let in a pleasant breeze. 

Mark leaned against the wall, getting as close to the window as possible. He felt an intense churn in his stomach; maybe it was guilt? Guilt for avoiding Donghyuck, and being his source of stress. He must be. 

The lift pinged from the side, their current manager arriving on the floor. He was too immersed in his phone conversation to even realise that Mark was there. 

"Surely the best would be to announce a hiatus for him." The manager said to whoever was on the other end. "Jaemin had a long hiatus, so I'm sure that Haechan can as well." 

Mark's heart dropped at those words. SM were thinking about putting Donghyuck on hiatus? Just because of this minor hurdle. Mark's guilt seemed to increase tenfold, hearing what could possibly be his fault. 

"Of course, sir." The manager spoke again. "I just think permanently removing him from the band is a little too harsh!" 

Mark's eyes widened, his entire world freezing. Did they just say that Donghyuck would have to leave NCT? Permanently!? Just the mere thought of that scared Mark; what if it was true, he'd never get to share his days with his most favourite person. He would never hear Donghyuck sing again. 

The manager was walking back towards the room that the rest of U were in. Mark slumped against the wall, eyes glued to the artwork in front of him. He was in shock, to say the least. 

He would never let SM get rid of Donghyuck, no matter what they said. He'd tell it straight to Lee Sooman's face if he had to! Donghyuck didn't need a hiatus either, he just needed some time to think. 

But then again, it had been 4 months. Mark knew that Donghyuck felt responsible for holding 127 and Dream back. But still! Getting rid of Donghyuck all together would not solve it. 

"Mark!" Taeyong's voice sounded from down the corridor. "It's your turn to solo shoot." The elder disappeared back into the room just as fast as he had appeared. Weird. 

Shit! He was still working. Mark shook his head to clear his thoughts. He definitely needed to talk to Donghyuck about what he'd heard. SM couldn't just keep them in the dark about such crucial information. Donghyuck probably didn't even know that they were planning to get rid of him! 

The rest of the schedule seemed to drag on and on. Mark had resisted biting his nails from the nervous feeling in his gut. What if Donghyuck did know, and he agreed with SM? What if he wanted to leave!? 

Taeyong was keeping a close eye on Mark, since the younger just seemed so twitchy. Jaehyun appeared beside the leader, throwing an arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer. 

"What's up with him?" He was looking towards Mark as he spoke. 

Taeyong's cheeks were red but he ignored it and replied. "I'm not sure, but it definitely has something to do with Donghyuck." 

"Obviously." Jaehyun leaned forwards, resting his cheek on Taeyong's head. The elder's blush reached his ears; usually he was the clingy one when it came to Jaehyun. 

"Maybe we should talk to them?" Taeyong suggested, shifting his head slightly against the younger's cheek. 

"Isn't it their business though?" Jaehyun reminded, his eyes closing as his body relaxed. "Should we really meddle in their relationship? I love them both to pieces, but this is their problem, right?" 

Taeyong thought about that for a second and Jaehyun was right. It wasn't up to them to solve this problem for their dongsaengs. But that didn't mean that Taeyong wouldn't continue to worry like hell about it all. 

-

Donghyuck had spent the majority of the day sat in the Dream dorm, sat on his bed. He was staring at Mark's, seeing as though he'd spent the night there. He sighed deeply, knowing that this was something he had to do. 

His request had finally been granted, and Donghyuck wasn't going to let it slip away. He checked his watch: 16:33. The dorm was deserted due to everyone's schedules, so he was on his own. No one would be back for a few more hours. 

Donghyuck stood up from his bed, a letter in his hands. He knew that Mark would probably return to the U dorm today, since their schedule would probably take them into the early hours. 

He probably wouldn't see it till tomorrow, at least. Donghyuck smiled sadly to himself, placing the letter on Mark's pillow. He turned and left the room not wanting to linger anymore, it was already making his chest hurt. 

Donghyuck grabbed his gym bag (which happened to be his biggest bag) before walking out of the Dream dorm. He'd packed a few necessary clothes, and most of his precious stuff - like his laptop, can't leave that. 

Donghyuck had requested leave from SM. He was going back home. Being with NCT was racking his mind with so much guilt, he couldn't take it anymore. He was hoping that his family would help cure him. Or at least take his mind of things. 

The elevator ride seemed to take forever, making Donghyuck feel more and more reluctant to go. He didn't want to hold the others back anymore, and this trip home was the only way he could think of to help him out. Of course there was the whole telling Mark everything he was hiding stuff, but Donghyuck wasn't mentally ready for that yet. 

The sound of his phone buzzing caught his attention, pulling him back to reality. Reading the message Donghyuck smiled a little. His mother was outside in the car, since she'd personally come to pick him up. Donghyuck had insisted on taking the train, but his mother had already decided and there was no arguing with her. 

Thankfully his family didn't live that far away from Seoul, so it wasn't an amazingly long drive. Donghyuck walked out of the dorm building, seeing his mother's Honda straight away. This was the best thing to do. 

-

Mark was impatiently shifting in his seat. NCT U were currently in the minivan on the way back to the dorms, since they'd finally finished their schedules for the day. 

The maknae of the unit had made sure to sit closest to the door, even his hand was on the handle ready to escape. Taeyong was still giving the younger a dodgy look, mostly the back of his head since he was in the back. 

Jaehyun's head was on Taeyong's shoulder, soft snores leaving him. At the other side of Jaehyun, Doyoung was sleeping against the window. Lucas and Jungwoo were snoozing against each other too, even Winwin in the passenger seat was out cold. 

It was currently 2:02am. Taeyong always stayed awake, wanting to watch over the other members. Mark was usually asleep too, but his twitchy state kept him wide awake. Taeyong was beyond the word worried when it came to Mark. The younger was a mess. 

"Mark?" Taeyong whispered, making sure not to disturb the others. It was easy to hear in the silence of the van. Mark turned his head to the side, glancing as much as he could back at Taeyong. 

The leader sighed, "have a sleep. It'll be a while till we get back." It wasn't a lie, at least another hour of driving was probably ahead of them. Taeyong at least wanted Mark to rest, especially since he probably didn't sleep much last night. 

Mark just nodded before directing his head forwards again. He looked down at himself, a small smile coming to his face. He was still wearing Donghyuck's hoodie, the one that he had slept in - Taeyong was rushing him out so fast in the morning he didn't even change his joggers. 

Mark wrapped his arms around himself, sinking into the cosy feeling of the hoodie. He wanted to see Donghyuck so badly, he needed to talk to him. He was so afraid that Donghyuck was going to leave SM, leave NCT, leave him... Mark couldn't image a world without him in it, and the sheer thought was scaring him shitless.

Closing his eyes, Mark's mind was bringing up memories of him and Donghyuck together. He missed those days, when in reality most of them weren't even a year ago. No matter what, Mark needed Donghyuck to stay. The heartbreak of him leaving would be like when Hansol went his own way, but for Mark if it was Donghyuck he knew he would never recover. 

The drive seemed to stretch on. Mark was glad that Taeyong probably thought he was asleep, since he hadn't said anything. Mark turned his head towards Jungwoo beside him. His head was on Lucas's shoulder, while the younger's head was on Jungwoo's. 

Mark couldn't help the spike of jealousy that suddenly shot through him. He wanted Donghyuck beside him. He wanted to sleep on the younger like that and cuddle up close to him. He needed to see him, even if it was for a few minutes. A few seconds would even cut it. 

As soon as they arrived Mark was straight out of the van. He ran towards the dorm, making a B-line for the lift. Taeyong was left to wake up the other members in the van, but he'd let it go. He wasn't sure why Mark was in such a hurry, but he could make a plausible guess. 

Mark leaned against the elevator mirror as it took him up to their floor. His hyungs would probably complain about how he didn't wait for them, but he needed to get back. Even if it was only a few seconds earlier, it would make all the difference. 

The lift pinged, the doors opening. Mark ran towards the 127 dorm, opening the door code. He ran straight through the dark dorm, knowing exactly where his and Donghyuck's room was. He slammed through the door, only to be met with the empty room. 

Mark sighed to himself, before running straight back out of the dorm again. He made his way towards the Dream dorm. Donghyuck had to be in there, it was just past 3am, where else would he go? 

Mark opened the door to Dream's dorm, not even thinking about being quiet. He ran through the silent and dark dorm, going straight into his and Donghyuck's room. He was breathing heavily as he turned the light on, illuminating the room. He didn't care if it would disturb Donghyuck's sleep...

Mark didn't understand. Donghyuck wasn't there either. Did he perhaps swap with another member? But then why wasn't that member in Donghyuck's bed instead? 

Mark walked further into the room, only to see something on his pillow. There was a folded piece of paper with his name written on it. Mark slowly picked up the paper, unfolding it carefully. 

Mark, I'm sorry.  
I feel as though I am running away from you, but I couldn't think of a better way to do this. I have left the dorm to return home to my family. I shouldn't be gone too long.  
I don't like this guilt that I feel whenever I see any of you guys, but especially you Mark hyung. I'm sorry that I let you down. I'm sorry that I can't overcome this. I will return when I am better. Make sure that you look after Dream and give your NCT U promotions your all. I'll see you soon, hyung. Goodbye. 

Donghyuck 

 

Mark just stared at the letter for a while, his eyes wide. He could feel the sting of tears threatening to escape, but what could he do? Donghyuck was gone. He'd gone home to his family. Mark sniffled a little, sitting down on Donghyuck's bed. 

He flinched, sitting on something hard. Mark quickly grabbed whatever it was from under the duvet. The notebook that Donghyuck had for the past 4 months was there in his hand, the pen still in the designated holder and everything. 

Mark felt his hands shaking as he opened the notebook. He wanted to read Donghyuck's voice, even if he couldn't hear it directly, it always played in his mind. Mark opened the first page, reading Donghyuck's handwriting. 

 

I don't want Mark hyung to blame himself for anything that's happened to me. This happened by accident and I chose to sit in the front with the manager. I will get better, I promise. I'm trying to sing for him again, but the sound just won't come. I'm trying I promise. 

 

Mark's eyes widened. Who was Donghyuck writing these for? Which member was he talking to when he wrote these. Mark turned to the next few pages, some with sassy comments and others serious. 

Mark continued to read until blank pages started to appear. He frowned, suddenly throwing the notebook onto his own bed. Why would Donghyuck leave behind his notebook? Wasn't it his source of communication for NCT while his voice was gone? It was like he was leaving behind NCT. 

Mark was about to pull his knees to his chest and have a sulk, when the notebook caught his eye again. The book had landed with the back open instead of the front, but on the back page there was writing. 

Mark stood up from Donghyuck's bed, making his way to his own. He sat down and slowly picked up the notebook. He opened the notebook from the back, seeing that there were multiple entries written upside down so it was like the front of another book. It was definitely Donghyuck's handwriting, so Mark was quick to start reading. 

 

I'm sorry that my voice won't come out. There are so many things I want to tell you, but I don't want you to read it. I want you to hear it, so I will bring my voice back for you... 

It's been a week now and I'm starting to get frustrated with myself! When will I be able to sing for you again... I really want to 

I really hate how I can't get over this! I want to sing for you! I want to see that smile on your face again! I want you to be happy... I'm really sorry that I can't get over this for you, for myself. 

A whole month has past. I'm still nowhere near figuring this out. Taeyong hyung told me that it will come back soon. Even Ten hyung told me that I shouldn't force it. But what can I do when all I see is pain in your eyes when you look at me?

Do you think I'll ever be able to sing again? Singing is my life. NCT is my life, my home. I'd give anything to sing for you again, but I can't. 

I'm beginning to think that I will not be cured from this. The doctor keeps telling me it's mental, but I'm not so sure. I've thought over many things, but I can't seem to understand it. 

Nearly 2 months and I know I'm making Dream and 127 sad. Hyung, what can I do to make this all better? 

I want to get better... 

Do you miss my voice? I miss your smile and your laughter. We haven't been the same since the accident. I miss you. 

Chenle told me something funny today but when I laughed, no noise came out. I miss our banter and jokes. It's not the same if I have to write everything. 

3 months. I can't keep holding everyone back like this. And I know that you'll think I'm being selfish, but I can't stand this guilty feeling a have inside. 

Let someone else have my lines. 

NCT shouldn't have to wait around for me. 

I think that there is no way for me to get better. It's just not happening. Mark, what should I do? 

I'm too scared to ask for your help. I'm sorry I keep avoiding you, but I know that you're not comfortable around me anymore. I feel it. 

It has been about 4 months now. Nothing has changed apart from the feeling that we're growing apart. I don't want to be a disappointment to you, so I'm thinking about the options. 

I want to sing. 

What do I have to do so that I can sing again? 

I listened to Kun hyung talk about random stuff as we were doing the dishes. I listened to Johnny hyung talk to Yuta hyung about possible 127 Japanese albums. I listened to Ten hyung tell Jaehyun hyung to pick up his nachos. I don't want to just listen anymore. 

I sometimes get this tight feeling in my chest, and I want it to stop. But I don't know how. My life is just me not knowing what to do these days...

Hey, Mark, will I ever get my voice back? I'm tired of waiting. 

You told me that you were the cause of my stress. It's not true. It's my own selfishness that's caused this. 

I am going to go home. I want to stay, I really do... But I can't. There's nothing that I can do for any of you. 

I'm sorry. 

Please forgive me. 

This will be the last thing I write in here. I wrote you a letter, and it will explain why I am going but there are some things that I still need to tell you. When I return with my voice, I promise that I will tell you everything. Hell, I'll sing it to you! I just want everything to be as it was before, and I know that it will take a lot of time and effort before that can happen.  
Goodbye, Mark hyung. Please wait for me. 

 

Mark lowered the notebook, tears already escaping his eyes. These pages were meant for him. Donghyuck wrote these to Mark, like the elder was sat talking to him as he wrote. The words were right, Mark had avoided Donghyuck since the accident, but he tried not too, he'd tried to make it seem less obvious. But on the other hand, Donghyuck had avoided Mark too, so no wonder everything was a mess. They kept missing each other. 

Mark read through the paragraphs again, although his blurry vision made it a little difficult. Donghyuck was suffering all on his own because of his voice, or lack of. It was unfair on him, no one should have to go through it alone. 

"Hyung?" A soft voice came from behind. Mark didn't turn his head, he just softly closed the notebook. He could tell from the voice that it was Jisung that had entered. 

"Why are you still awake?" Mark tried to keep his voice steady, but it was futile. His tears and sniffles made it hard to speak straight. 

"Hyung, what's wrong?" Jisung walked further into the room. "I heard you storm in and then you started crying." He sat down beside Mark, wanting to comfort him but not really knowing how. 

Mark bit his lip, another sniffle escaping. "He's g-gone." He whimpered, slowly passing the letter to Jisung. The maknae was quick to read through the note, needing to be up to date on the situation. 

"Donghyuck hyung has gone home?" Jisung turned back to Mark, seeing the elder lower his head and squeeze his eyes shut. 

"It's my fault... I wasn't there for him when he needed me." Mark muttered out, quickly wiping at his eyes with his hand. "I let him suffer through this alone, and now he's gone."

"Hyung, no. That's not true." Jisung wrapped an arm around Mark's shoulders, rubbing his arm in a comforting way. "You've been busy working, Donghyuck hyung knew that. You never left him alone."

"I told him that we should have some distance, that he'd be better off without me around." Mark leaned his head on Jisung's shoulder, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. "If I wasn't around then maybe his voice would return, but now he's gone." 

"He'll come back." Jisung reassured. He refused to believe that Donghyuck would just walk out on NCT. They weren't just a band, they were family. 

"What if he doesn't?" Mark was staring down at his sweater paws, feeling helpless all of a sudden. The notebook still in his grasp. 

"Mark hyung," Jisung gently pushed the elder away, before grabbing his shoulders and forcing him to look up at him. "How would you feel if Donghyuck hyung didn't come back?" 

Mark felt a painful lurch in his chest. "I... I don't want to carry on without him." 

Jisung smiled a little at that. Mark had trained for a long time, he'd even mastered Korean to get in the position he was in today. But, he didn't want to carry on his idol life without Donghyuck, now that really was commitment. 

Mark turned his head away from Jisung, eyes looking at the notebook again. "I use to think that I'd never give being an idol up for anything, but the thought of doing all this without Donghyuck here doesn't feel right. Even if we're in different units, at least he was still here when I got back." 

Jisung suddenly pulled Mark into a hug. "Why is Donghyuck so special, hyung?" He already knew that answer, but he was tired of his hyungs and their heads in the sand. How many times did he have to say it? 

Mark felt his heart accelerate and his cheeks flush. "Y-you don't need to know." He tried to push the maknae away, but Jisung refused to let go. 

"Hyung," Jisung sounded irritated but a sigh quickly followed and calmed his tone. "If you can't admit it to yourself, how will you ever say it to Donghyuck hyung?" 

Mark chuckled, "when did you become an old man?" 

"When I turned 15. Now admitting to yourself is the main step here." Jisung released Mark from the hug, looking over him with big eyes. "Why is Donghyuck special?" He repeated. 

Mark felt his bottom lip tremble as more tears spilled from his eyes. "I..." He clutched the notebook to his chest, squeezing his eyes shut. "I love him..." He whispered out, but Jisung heard it loud and clear. 

"I know." Jisung teased, ruffling Mark's hair. He would get a scolding if Mark wasn't so tired and embarrassed. 

Mark let out a little laugh, a smile appearing. The tears were still rolling down his face, but he looked relatively relieved. "I love him." He spoke again, but his voice sounded more confident now. 

Jisung smiled back at the elder. "Now you just have to tell him." He clarified, making Mark stare at him like he'd grown an extra head. "What?" The maknae frowned slightly. 

"Won't telling him potentially ruin our friendship?" Mark sounded genuinely concerned for what he just said. 

Jisung had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. "Trust me, hyung. Holding onto these feelings and keeping them locked inside will just make you sick." 

"How would you know?" Mark raised a skeptical brow, though he didn't look intimidating at all with his tear stained face. 

"This isn't about me." Jisung reminded. "And isn't yours and Donghyuck's friendship starting to fall into ruin now anyway?" 

Mark felt like the maknae had just stabbed him through the heart with those words. But, he knew that Jisung was right. Could they even still class themselves as friends with all this awkward avoidance they'd brought on themselves? 

Jisung stood up from the bed, a yawn leaving him. "Promise me one thing, hyung." He started, looking at Mark with a serious expression. "You won't keep these feelings bottled away, because saying them outright will help you both in the long run." 

Mark could only nod. Jisung smiled, "nighty night, hyung." He yawned again before leaving the room, probably returning to his own. 

Mark watched the youngest go, before deciding to get ready for bed himself. After a quick shower and brushing his teeth, Mark pulled on some pyjama bottoms and a tank top before slipping into his bed. He'd left Donghyuck's notepad beside his pillow, just in case he wanted to read it again. 

Mark closed his eyes, his tears still slipping out slowly. He smiled to himself that night, dreaming about all of the good times. All of the times that he'd fallen in love with Donghyuck coming to his attention. He was happy, and he hadn't felt that way in a long time.


	5. V

Donghyuck was lying on his bed, arms and legs splayed as he stared at the ceiling. He'd been at home just a couple days short of two weeks. He had multiple messages from the other members asking how he was, but he only sent back short replies. 

Mark hadn't messaged him at all. It actually hurt, but what could Donghyuck ask for really. He'd run away from the elder; he didn't deserve to get messages from Mark. Donghyuck threw an arm over his eyes, a sigh escaping him. 

"Donghyuck?" His mother knocked on his open door as she stepped into the room. "Want some tea?" She already had the mug, so there was no way that Donghyuck would refuse. 

After sitting up and taking the mug, Donghyuck mouthed a thank you to his mother. Mrs Kim sat down on Donghyuck's bed, watching him drink the tea she'd provided. 

Donghyuck's family had only moved to Seoul in the past year, wanting to be closer to him. Donghyuck missed Jeju sometimes, but you can't live in the same place forever right? He would be forever grateful to his family for moving for his sake. 

"Feel like talking today?" Mrs Kim tried, smiling in a jokey way. Donghyuck just looked at her, a small smile of his own appearing. He would talk if he could, but there was just nothing that ever came out. 

Mrs Kim just chuckled, ruffling Donghyuck's hair. "Mama is going grocery shopping, do you need anything?" She waited until Donghyuck shook his head in reply before giving him a kiss on the forehead. 

Donghyuck placed the mug on his side table, before flopping back down onto his bed. He was getting tired of himself at this point. How hard was it to just talk? Donghyuck suddenly sat up again, taking a deep breath. It wasn't the first time he'd tried like this, on the contrary, he'd tried to speak every single day. 

Donghyuck got up from his bed, walking out of his room and down the corridor. He went down the stairs into the living room, opening the back doors leading to the garden. 

The sun was blazing down, painting the green grass the colour of the NCT light sticks. Donghyuck felt his emotions drop at the thought; everything reminded him of NCT. He missed them. He really missed them. 

Donghyuck walked out into the garden, laying down in the grass. The sun was warm against his skin, and there was no wind. Just a calm, perfect day. He watched the clouds roll by, before his eyes drifted shut. 

There wasn't anything that Donghyuck needed to think about anymore. He'd made up his mind, just in those few minutes of laying in the grass. His eyes opened again, just in time to catch a butterfly flutter past. Donghyuck had come to the conclusion that he would tell Mark his feelings. Whether he did or didn't, his voice definitely won't come back. 

Almost 5 months... Practically half a year. Donghyuck was really letting NCT down, and god knows why SM thought about the entire situation. They probably wouldn't put up with it all for much longer. Donghyuck had even seen that NCT had performed Black on Black recently. He'd read the comments on the news page, most comments asking about were Haechan was. Some other fans had replied with a simple 'maybe he's sick'. 

Donghyuck sighed, turning to his side on the grass. He knew that it was better for everyone in NCT if he just left. They couldn't just wait around for him forever, and SM didn't even mention a hiatus for him. So what else was there for him? 

Maybe Donghyuck's dream just wasn't meant to be. He should be happy about where he'd gotten to, it just so happens that his road ended here. Everyone else's would carry on, and soon he would be forgotten. With or without him, NCT would still continue. 

Donghyuck sat up, shaking the thoughts from his head. Where did those depressing thoughts come from? He leaned back on his palms, staring up at the sky once again. 

Mark... What are you doing right now? Donghyuck sighed, lowering his head again. He was starting to forget what his own voice sounded like. What his singing sounded like. Donghyuck took in a deep lungful of air, before breathing out some lyrics. Not really words, more just breathy sounds. 

-

Mark had been a mess for the past two weeks. He'd messed up in practice and misplaced lyrics in three performances. The staff had started to notice, and honesty it wasn't good. If they told the higher ups then Mark would have to have an idol review. 

"Mark, what's up?" Jaehyun questioned as he sat beside the younger. They were both leaning against one of the mirrors in the dance studio, sitting on the floor. 

Mark turned his gaze away from the elder. He'd only just held back on rolling his eyes. "Isn't it goddamn obvious what's wrong with me?" He muttered out, but the bite in his tone was still prominent. 

Jaehyun sighed deeply, rubbing at his temples. "Look, Mark," he started, narrowing his eyes slightly at the younger. "We know that you're still upset about Donghyuck leaving, but you don't have to shut yourself out. We're worried about you, and then you just give us attitude." 

"What do you want me to say?" Mark turned back to Jaehyun, a deep furrow in his brow. "That I'm fine? That Donghyuck not being here has no effect on me and I'm not continuously thinking about what I did wrong!? About what I could have done for him instead!?" 

Jaehyun was a little taken back by how the younger had raised his voice. The rest of 127 all turned to look at him, seeing as though they were the unit practicing. Mark seemed just slightly more edgy in the units that Donghyuck was in; he was only a little calmer in U. Only a little. 

"What's going on over here?" Taeyong questioned, walking over to the younger two. 

"Nothing out of the ordinary." Jaehyun sent a glare to Mark before getting to his feet. He stepped past Taeyong, feeling a little too angered by their current maknae. 

Taeyong watched Jaehyun walk off in a huff, before turning his attention back to Mark. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at the younger. "Mark, what's the problem? There's no need to start a fight." Taeyong was trying to be as calm about the situation as possible. 

Mark got to his feet this time. He stormed straight past Taeyong, completely ignoring and blanking him. In fact, he did it to all his hyungs as he made a beeline to the door. He grabbed his bag before leaving the dance studio. 

"What the hell, Mark?" Johnny asked rhetorically from the background. 

"I think he needs space." Winwin suggested, patting Johnny's shoulder as he did. 

Taeyong agreed with the Chinese man completely. Mark probably stormed out because he didn't want to start really talking back to his hyungs. 

Mark shoved his hands into his pockets as he stormed down the corridor. He got into the lift, pressing the button for the ground floor. Leaning against the wall, Mark looked at himself in the mirror opposite. He even looked like a mess. Dark bags under his eyes and a pale complexion. 

The lift pinged on the ground floor. Mark stepped out of the elevator, bowing his head to a few members of EXO that looked as though they just arrived. Mark didn't stop, that might open the invitation for conversation, like Mark wanted that. 

Instead, he just walked straight out of the SM building. Instead of walking back to the dorms, Mark decided to go on a walk around the resident estates that surrounded the entertainment building. 

It was peaceful with how quiet it was. Mark sighed, hiking his bag higher on his shoulder. It was times like this when he just wanted to be back in Canada. Life seemed to be a lot simpler back then, back before he'd even met Donghyuck. 

Mark chuckled to himself, his feet stopping in their tracks. "What am I doing?" He asked absolutely no one. Mark lifted his head, looking up at the blue sky above him. It was a nice day, a perfect one even. Sunshine and no breeze. 

There was a feeling of guilt swirling in Mark's stomach. He felt bad for snapping at Jaehyun, but it wasn't the first time he'd done it. He'd snapped at all the members at least once these past two weeks. He'd really upset Chenle because of it. 

Mark leaned his back against the closest brick wall, his head hung low. He didn't need to take it out on NCT, there was no need. They didn't do anything to deserve Mark's bitchy attitude in their faces. 

Mark continued walking again, taking the long way back to the dorms. SM probably already knew he was skipping practice, which wasn't helping the thin ice he was currently standing on. The company had been keeping a close eye on him because of his mess ups. 

Mark sighed again, ruffling the back of his hair. It took more than 30 minutes to get back to the dorm, since he was purposefully going down the roads he knew wouldn't get him there. 

Mark entered the dorm building, making his way slowly to the elevator. He didn't press the button, instead just staring at the doors. After what seemed like forever, Mark turned around and made his way to the sitting area. He didn't feel like having to deal with any members right now anyway. 

The lobby of the dorm building had a small seating area accompanied by a couple of vending machines. No one really sat there since they were just in and out of the dorms mostly. Mark sat on the sofa nearest the window. He held his head in his hands, feeling the dull throb of a migraine. 

Mark slowly pulled Donghyuck's notebook out of his bag, holding it with both hands. He stared down at it, opening it from the back again. Reading through Donghyuck's notes reminded Mark how hard the younger was trying, and how much he should be too. 

"Please come back, Donghyuck." Mark whispered, closing the notebook and holding it close. He closed his eyes, praying that someone somewhere heard what he said. Was it too much to ask for? Was it selfish? 

Mark didn't actually know how long he sat there, but the sound of a car pulling up outside told him it was a long time. He lifted his head, since he'd been staring at the floor. The sky outside had darkened, the evening light slowly fading away. 

Mark was silent as he watched the other members of 127 walk into the dorm building. They were all chatting happily, just going about their day. Mark watched them as they entered the lift, only one member noticing him. 

Doyoung made his way over towards Mark, a sweet smile on his face. "Come on, Mark." He held his hand out for the younger. "Lets go buy ingredients for hotpot." 

They honestly weren't the words he was expecting. "I'll come too." Taeil appeared from behind Doyoung, an equal soft smile on his own face. Mark just nodded, taking Doyoung's hand and being pulled to his feet. 

Thankful there was a small convenience store around their dorm building, which had a fresh market stall inside too. Mark followed slightly behind his hyungs, who were discussing how much meat they'd need for all the members. 

When they reached the store, Mark strayed off a little just to look around. He picked up some crisps, randomly reading the back. It was helping him take his mind off of his crushing guilt, weighing down on from multiple angles. 

"You okay?" Taeil asked, appearing beside the younger. Mark turned to look at his hyung, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. 

"I'm okay." Mark answered, though he wasn't entirely sure. "I mean... I think I am." He placed the crisps back down, giving Taeil his full attention. 

Taeil nodded, glancing around the store. "You know, it's okay to be upset. And it's okay to lash out at us." He sounded so calm as he spoke. "I just want you to remember that we're all here for you. If you need someone to listen then we will, if you need to cry then you can." 

Mark felt his heart clench, tears stinging his eyes already. Taeil smiled at the younger, reaching up and patting his head. "We know. We miss Donghyuck too. You're not going through this alone." At that he walked over towards Doyoung, who was currently picking veggies. 

Mark let Taeil's words sink in. All of NCT missed Donghyuck, yet Mark was acting as if he was the only one that did. He wasn't the only one that cared about Donghyuck, everyone else did. Sure, Mark might feel it more due to his stronger feelings, but the rest of the members haven't just forgotten about Donghyuck. 

Doyoung and Taeil were now at the checkout, packing their ingredients into bags. Mark was still just stood, suddenly feeling stupid. He sighed, making his way towards his hyungs. 

"I'll carry one." Mark offered, already taking the bag with the beef. Doyoung smiled bright before grabbing the bag of veggies. Taeil paid the cashier and grabbed the last bag, filled with drinks of all flavours and brands. 

The three of them walked back to the dorms, Doyoung just talking about whatever came to his mind. Taeil would say something now and then to intervene, sometimes only to annoy the younger. Mark smiled at the both of them, feeling more relaxed than he had been the past few days. 

When they finally got back to the dorm, Mark was surprised to see that every member was in the 127 dorm. Doyoung went straight to the kitchen, where Taeyong was waiting. They both unpacked the food as Mark brought over the other bag. 

"Thank you." Taeyong smiled, taking the beef from the younger. Mark smiled back at Taeyong, feeling as though he hadn't seen his smile in weeks. 

Mark turned back to the living room, watching the other members around the tv. They were watching some reality show that TVXQ were on, though they weren't all really paying attention. Only Renjun looked as though he was really watching. 

Seeing his NCT family all together like this made him happy, but at the same time sad. This wasn't everyone, and the most important person was missing. Mark sat at the kitchen table, looking down at the wooden finish. He remembered Taeil's words, knowing that he was right. Everyone missed Donghyuck in there own way, so he should stop acting like it was just him. 

After an hour and a bit, Taeyong's hotpot was done. He scooped a bowl for everyone, handing them out accordingly. Mark noticed that he seemed to have a little bit more than the others, but Taeyong just held a finger to his own lips. Mark couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him. 

Everyone started eating from where they were sitting. Only Mark, Taeyong and Doyoung were sat at the kitchen table. Not that it was big enough for all the members anyway. 

Dinner passed by in a flash. Taeyong made each member clean their dish, seeing as though it would reduce the chore. When everything was clean and packed away, Taeyong cleared his throat, capturing everyone's attention. 

"Okay," he clapped his hands together, "we all have three days off starting from tomorrow." There was an eruption of cheers, everyone happy about the idea of rest and sleep. 

Mark perked up a little, listening to Taeyong continue. "We've been given these days as a request, so spend them wisely." He side eyed towards Mark. "You can go out and about, but make sure that we know where you are, no stray wanderings." 

Everyone agreed to the terms, seeing as though they were pretty flexible. Taeyong nodded, before making his way back into the kitchen. He was going to clean the pot when someone grabbed his arm. Mark had followed him, his eyes wide and full of curiosity. 

"Can we really go out? How far?" Mark was questioning seriously, needing to know the answers. Taeyong smiled at the younger, already knowing where he wanted to go. 

"You can go as far as you want," Taeyong concluded, "as long as you tell me where you are." 

"What about curfew...?" Mark was already in trouble with SM because of his recent behaviour, he didn't want to risk getting kicked out the band. 

Taeyong chuckled. "If I know where you are, then you're free for the next three days." He'd make up some excuse of SM asked, but they didn't usually care on their idols' days off. 

Mark suddenly hugged Taeyong, catching the elder off guard. "Thank you." He knew that it was hard to get days off, especially three for all the NCT members. Taeyong hugged the younger back, rubbing his back gently. 

"You're gonna go see Donghyuck?" Jisung's voice sounded from behind. Mark released Taeyong, turning to see the maknae's knowing smirk. 

"Yes." Mark concluded. He'd already made up his mind, there was no backing out. Jisung smiled, nodding his head. 

"Bring him back, hyung." Jeno stood from the sofa where he was sat. Mark chuckled, but nodded anyway. He was going to fulfil the promise to himself no matter what. 

-

The next day came around fast. Mark got up early, around 8am (still needed that day off lie in). He showered quickly, washing his entire body. He wore his black skinny jeans and white shirt, topped off with a large red and black checkered button up. 

Mark sat on his bed, taking a few deep breaths. He knew where Donghyuck's family lived, it would just take a while to get there. Mark had already planned the journey, through subway and buses. 

After pulling a snapback on and a face mask, Mark grabbed his backpack. He didn't want to wake the other members so after pulling on his Adidas he tiptoes towards the door. He left the dorm, getting straight into the elevator. 

Mark pulled his sunglasses out of his pocket, thankful that it was actually sunny. He walked out of the building, straight into the crisp morning air. Mark made his way towards the nearest subway station, trying to look as casual as he could. 

Mark walked down the stairs to the station, following the signs directing him to the right platform. Thankfully he didn't have to wait long for the actual train, only three minutes to be exact. 

Once on the train Mark took a seat on one of the empty chairs, placing his earphones in. It was quite busy, but then again it was 08:21am. Mark was looking through his phone, since he'd saved a note on the way that he needed to go. 

After three stops he needed to get off and get another train. Right. Mark waited for his designated stop before exiting the train. On the next train there were a couple of girls that were glancing at him. Mark had to stand this time, not that it mattered. 

Eight stops later and Mark was waiting at a bus stop. After waiting for far too long, the bus arrived. Mark paid the driver before making his way to the back of the bus. Thankfully it was a quiet bus, only a couple of other people present. 

Mark checked his phone once again, seeing as though he'd be on the bus for a while. He skipped through his songs, finally landing on a song he wanted to listen too. Mark stared out the window, watching the morning pass. 

Some more people got on the bus, and some got off. Mark was counting the stops, wanting to make sure that he got off at the right one. He still had that determination, but now his confidence was diminishing. What if Donghyuck didn't want to see him? What if Mark's unannounced arrival was going to be a nuisance? 

Mark hadn't really thought of any of the negatives when he planned. He just wanted to see Donghyuck, and tell him everything that he needed to know. There was no point in backing out now. He could do this. He needed too. 

When the fourteenth stop came into view, Mark pressed the button to initiate a stop. He thanked the driver as he got off, stretching as he did. Mark pulled out his phone, first checking the time. 11:04am. And now he had a bit of a walk ahead of him. 

The sun was shining brightly, bathing the scenery in warmth. Mark had noticed that the bus had taken him out of the city to a more rural housing area. There were some people in their front gardens, pulling out weeds and planting flowers. 

Mark checked the directions on his phone before walking into the housing estate. It was a peaceful feeling as he walked around, a smile appearing on his face. He'd never really gone out on his own like this. If he wanted to go out for the day at least one other member would accompany him. Donghyuck always volunteered. 

Mark pulled the face mask down, needing some air. Hopefully no one would recognise him around here, but he kept his sunglasses and snapback on for good measure. 

He was thinking about what he was going to say when he saw Donghyuck. Should he just get straight to point, or should they have a bit of a catch up first? It was almost stressful, since Mark's confidence was slipping with each step that he took. 

After a good 30 minutes of walking, Donghyuck's family home came into view. Mark had never been inside the house before, but when Donghyuck first moved in he showed everyone pictures of the inside as estate. He was so happy and cute that day, Mark would never forget. 

Mark walked up to the door, staring at the number 52 hanging there. He took a deep breath, holding his hand up to the door. After weakly knocking, Mark removed his sunglasses, trying to look as casual as he could. 

When no one answered, Mark decided to knock again only with more vigour. The sounds of shuffling inside made Mark's heart race; he wasn't ready for this. He took a few deep breaths, trying his best to calm himself. 

Donghyuck opened the front door, his eyes widening when he saw who was there. Mark smiled back, though he looked a little awkward. "H-hi...?" Mark wanted to smack himself; that was the most awkward greeting ever. 

Donghyuck disappeared inside again, leaving the elder at the doorway. Mark didn't make a move to step inside, not knowing if he was welcome. Thankfully the younger didn't take too long at whatever he was doing. 

Donghyuck had returned to the front door with a small whiteboard in his hands. He pulled the pen cap off with his teeth before scribbling down. Mark tried to sneak a peak, but Donghyuck flipped around to show him anyway. 

"Why are you here?" Mark read the younger's message out. "Ah, I've come to see you." He answered, smiling a lot more naturally. 

Donghyuck just nodded, gesturing for the elder to come inside. Mark thanked him before stepping into house. The inside was very modern, beautiful family pictures here and there. 

Mark walked over towards one of the pictures, picking it up. It was a picture of Donghyuck as a kid. He was so cute back then; not that he wasn't cute now. Mark placed the picture back down, continuing to have a look around. 

Donghyuck was scribbling something on his whiteboard, but kept a wary eye on the elder. He jogged over to Mark, who had made his way into the open plan living room. 

Donghyuck nudge the elder with the board, wanting him to take it. Mark read the words that the younger had written in the handwriting Mark had stared at every day since he left. 

Would you like something to drink? Also, you're welcome to take a seat. 

Mark smiled, passing the board back to Donghyuck. "I'm fine, don't worry." He made his way to the sofa, slipping his rucksack off before sitting down. 

Donghyuck bit his lip, sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. Mark glanced at him but didn't say anything. The atmosphere was starting to get a little heavy, that choking feeling getting to Mark. 

"How... How have you been these past two weeks?" Mark asked. So, seems as though they were going to start with catching up. 

Donghyuck began to write his response, showing Mark once he was finished. 

I've been fine. Just tired of not being able to talk. You? 

Mark knew how frustrated Donghyuck was, he'd read his words every single day. "I'm not so good." Mark decided to be honest. 

What do you mean? 

Donghyuck quickly scribbled down his reply. Mark faced forwards, leaning his elbows on his knees. "I've been messing up in practice and performances. My head is a complete mess these days." 

Why? 

Donghyuck's handwriting got a little sloppy due to the fast pace he was writing at. Mark chuckled a little, before leaning back on the sofa. He needed to say what he truly wanted to. 

"I miss you." Mark said, though he was looking up at the ceiling. Donghyuck felt his heart clench and his cheeks heat up. Mark glanced towards the younger, wondering if he'd wrote a reply. He hadn't. If anything he looked shocked. 

Mark shifted on the sofa, turning to look at the younger. "Is it so shocking for me to say I miss you?" He needed to keep this confidence going. 

Donghyuck started writing again, though his hand felt a little shaky. Those words from Mark honestly made him really happy. He'd also missed Mark, but he wouldn't write that down. 

You told me to stay away... You're the cause of my stress right? 

Donghyuck didn't believe what he wrote down, but he wanted to get to the bottom of it all. Mark read the reply, a deep sigh passing his lips. 

"I wish I was," Mark commented, his eyes glancing away. "If I was the cause of this then I'd happily remove myself from the picture so you could get better. But here we are, two weeks apart and you're not better at all." 

Donghyuck lowered his head at that, wiping the whiteboard clean again. He really wanted to know the chase too. Mark watched as the younger started writing a lot more than before. 

I really wish I knew the cause. I'm just holding NCT back and I don't know how to solve this. Sorry hyung. 

"Why are you apologising to me?" Mark leaned back again. "Unless that an apology for running away and just leaving behind this." He pulled the notebook out of his bag, putting it on the space between them. 

Donghyuck's eyes widened. He didn't expect Mark to carry it around, or confront him with it. If anything, it was more of a goodbye situation. Donghyuck honestly thought that he wouldn't be able to go back to NCT after all this. 

"Do you have any idea how I felt when you just up and left?" Mark questioned, still staring forwards. He was refusing to even glance at the younger. 

Donghyuck opened his mouth, but nothing came out again. He gnawed on his lip, annoyance present. Why couldn't he just talk!? 

"I was worried. SM were talking about removing you from NCT." Mark could feel his own emotions flare at remembering. Donghyuck couldn't say he was surprised, SM wasn't exactly known for their caring. 

Wouldn't it be better for NCT? 

Donghyuck flipped his whiteboard over, showing his thoughts. He honestly didn't want to leave NCT, but he didn't want to hold them back either. It would definitely be a painful decision when it came along. 

Mark glared a little as he read the younger's reply. "Would it better? I highly doubt it." He crossed his arms over his chest. "I've learnt these past couple weeks that if you're not there then I can't focus." 

Donghyuck's heart started accelerating. Mark looked down at his lap. "I've been thinking about what I could have done better for you. What I could have done to help you. Since the accident I feel as though I've just been running from you." 

Donghyuck shuffled a little closer to the elder. Mark felt his chest constrict; this was a lot harder than he thought it would be. "Everyday I still wish it was me in the passenger seat that day." 

Donghyuck shook his head, not wanting the elder to think that way. Mark just continued, "but there is nothing I can do about it. Instead, I tried to wrap my head around what could be the cause of your voicelessness. Your aphonia." He suddenly turned to Donghyuck, large eyes staring at him. "I honesty thought I was the cause. You started avoiding me after the accident, or rather I started it. I'm sorry." 

Donghyuck shook his head again. How he wanted to tell Mark that it wasn't his fault. He wanted to tell him that he was wrong. Mark fluttered his eyes, his gaze downcast. 

"I wanted you back, I miss my best friend." Mark suddenly got to his feet, walking towards the large sliding glass door in front of them. "But, a part of me doesn't just want what we had." 

Donghyuck furrowed his brows at that. He stood up from the sofa too, just staring at the back of Mark's head. The elder took a few deep breaths, like he was trying to calm himself. 

"Jisung had already caught on, and I felt stupid for trying to hide it." Mark wrapped his arms around himself, gripping to his shirt hard. "I was just scared. I didn't want to lose you, Donghyuck..." 

Donghyuck's eyes were widening at ever word the elder said, his heart beating wildly. What was happening? What was this..? 

"You're my best friend, Donghyuck. I don't want that to change." Mark needed to say this, no matter what it had to be done. "But, at the same time... I don't want to just be your friend." 

Donghyuck dropped his whiteboard, letting it clatter on the floor. Was this... real? This had to be a dream, no way was this happening right now. This was a lie. 

"I'm sorry, Donghyuck." Mark's hands flopped back to his sides, his fists clenching. "Even though I'm your best friend, I fell in love with you." 

Donghyuck felt as though time had just stopped. Mark Lee just confessed to him. The one thing in life that he wished for, it was reality. Donghyuck felt numb, he couldn't even remember how to breathe. 

"That's... what I came to say a-anyway." Mark turned, walking back to the sofa. He grabbed his backpack before making his way towards the front door. He could feel tears in his eyes; so this is how it all ends. 

Mark was about to reach for the door handle when a pair of strong arms wrapped around his torso. Donghyuck held onto the elder tightly, trembling behind him a little. 

"Donghyuck... Let go." Mark pleaded, already feeling his body shiver in the younger's hold. Tears were rolling down his cheeks. He didn't know if this was Donghyuck feeling sorry for him, not wanting to lose him, or accepting him. It was only making his heart hurt. 

Donghyuck gritted his teeth, a soft sigh escaping him. This time he needed to say it. He needed to speak this time. Mark was sniffling now, some tears even falling onto Donghyuck's arm. 

"Me... too." 

Mark's eyes widened, his entire world freezing. He felt Donghyuck's arms slacken a little, letting him turn around in hold. Donghyuck was sniffling now, tears rolling down his own cheeks. 

Mark cupped the younger's face in his hands, lifting his head. "Donghyuck... your voice...?" 

Donghyuck smiled a little as more tears escaped him. He tightened his arms around Mark's waist, pulling him closer. "I love you too, Mark." He whispered, his voice extremely quiet. 

"You can ta-" Mark was suddenly cut off, Donghyuck's lips pushing at his own. Mark's eyes widened a little, but it didn't take long for them to flutter closed. He snaked his arms around Donghyuck's neck, pulling him closer. 

Donghyuck ran one hand up and down Mark's spine, pulling a soft gasp from him. Donghyuck didn't think twice before slipping his tongue into the elder's mouth, catching him by surprise. 

Mark flicked his own tongue back against Donghyuck's intruding one. They danced around each other, stealing their breath away. Mark broke the kiss first, panting a little as he did. Donghyuck looked just as breathless. 

They could only stare at each other as they regained oxygen. There was a thin string of salvia connecting their bottom lips. Flushed faces and eyes full of adoration. 

Donghyuck started laughed, his voice a little bit stronger than before. Mark couldn't stop himself from bubbling up with laugher too. He leaned his forehead against Donghyuck's, his hands now grabbing his shoulders. Donghyuck's arms were still around the elder's waist. 

"I was planning on telling you first." Donghyuck spoke, his voice regaining strength. "I really wanted to tell you, many times." 

Mark sniffled but still smiled. Tears were still rolling, but he didn't care. "Why didn't you?" He asked, squeezing the younger's shoulders as he did. 

"The time wasn't right." Donghyuck smirked, pulling Mark into a hug. He buried his head into Mark's shoulder, his eyes closing. "I love you... I love you, Mark hyung." 

Mark smiled, hugging the younger back. "I love you, Hyuck. I always have." Donghyuck pulled out of the hug, moving close towards Mark again. 

The elder leaned back, a teasing smirk on his face. Donghyuck frowned, "yah, hyung! Let me kiss you!" Mark laughed; there he was. His loud, sassy, loveable Lee Donghyuck. 

The front door suddenly opened, catching them both off guard. "Oh, hello there." Donghyuck's mother had just walked in, a plastic bag in hurt hand. "Mark-ah, when did you get here?" 

Mark had immediately let go of Donghyuck, but the younger still had his arms around the elder. Mark tried to struggle away, but the younger was too strong for his own good. 

Mrs Lee didn't seem to even be phased as she walked towards the kitchen. "I'll make some lunch for us." She called from the other room. 

"Let go!" Mark hissed under his breath at Donghyuck. The younger just marvelled at how red Mark's face was, he was extremely embarrassed. 

Donghyuck squeezed Mark in a short hug again before finally releasing him. Mark felt the comforting warmth of Donghyuck all over his body and it was making him feel a little faint. 

"Hyuckkie do you want rice or noodles?" Donghyuck's mother called from the kitchen. 

"Noodles!" Donghyuck shouted back, his voice stronger. His mother suddenly came back into the living room, eyes as wide as her smile. 

"Your voice is back!" She cheered, running up to Donghyuck and giving him a hug. "How? I thought it was stress related?" 

Donghyuck glanced over to Mark, a soft smile on his face. Mark just stared back, also intrigued to hear the answer. "I've been holding on to something for years, and I guess it just got the better of me. But now, Mark helped me let go of what I kept caged inside." 

Mark's cheeks turned pink, even his ears did but he smiled. Donghyuck grinned back, genuine happiness on his face. Mrs Lee glanced between the both of them, an eyebrow raised. 

"Mark," she called out, catching the Canadian off guard. 

"Y-yes?" Mark answered, looking down to the elder lady. 

Mrs Lee smiled brightly, "rice or noodles?"


	6. VI

Mark spent the day with Donghyuck and his family. Even when his father and younger brothers came home. It was a homely atmosphere, and it was fair to say Donghyuck wasn't the only in his family with a sassy tone. 

His parents were asking Mark a lot of questions about how his life was. Mark answered all of them, about his family, about NCT, everything. 

"How about you stay over tonight, Mark?" Mr Lee suggested. He was stood in the kitchen with Mark, since they were making dinner. 

"Ah, well..." Mark couldn't stop the blush from forming on his cheeks. If Mr Lee noticed it he didn't say anything. 

"Donghyuck talks about you all the time whenever he comes back. And I heard that you helped him get his voice back." Donghyuck's father looked so much like his eldest son. 

"I... I may have just suggested ways." Mark laughed, stray hung the back of his head. No way he could tell than that they confessed to each other. There was no guarantee that they'd take that news well. 

When dinner was ready, they all say around the table. Mark was say beside Donghyuck, opposite were his parents and each end of the table were his brothers. They were eating their family style dim sum, the odd conversation going around. 

Mark was smiling at Donghyuck as he spoke to his youngest brother. He was ecstatic that Donghyuck had his voice back, so he insisted that they keep talking. Or at least Donghyuck would. 

After their dinner was basically finished, Donghyuck reached under the table. Mark tensed when the younger grabbed his thigh, the familiar warmth spreading through him. 

"Umma, appa." Donghyuck spoke in a serious tone, making his family go silent. Mark felt his stomach churn; what the hell was Donghyuck doing? 

"What's wrong, Hyuck?" His father asked, placing his chopsticks down. It was almost as if he knew what was about to be said. 

"I..." Donghyuck glanced towards Mark, the elder looking at him with his wide eyes. The younger turned back to his parents, eyes full of determination. "I love Mark. Not just as a friend." He squeezed the elder's leg a little as he spoke. 

Mrs Lee suddenly grinned, her smile bright. Mr Lee scoffed, before he smirked. "We know, Donghyuck." 

Donghyuck gaped at his parents, his entire face turning red. "Since when did you know?" He released Mark's leg, opting to hold his head on his hands. 

"He's all you ever talk about," his mother betrayed him, "it would be stupid if we didn't notice." 

"The look in your eyes as you talk about him endlessly is obvious." His father made it worse. 

Mark was the one blushing now; Donghyuck talked about him at home? Every time he came back home, he'd talk to his parents about Mark. 

"Okay, okay." Donghyuck held his hands up, stopping his parents from spouting more nonsense. "I wanted to look cool as I told you, like I didn't care if you disapproved..." He pouted a little, disappointed. He wanted to impress Mark by showing him how unafraid he was. 

"Would you rather we disapproved?" Mrs Lee asked, trying her best not to laugh. Donghyuck just rolled his eyes, the tips of his ears turning red.

Mark smiled, patting the younger's shoulder. Donghyuck just ruffled his hair, annoyance filling him. He'd just lost his cool edge, and now it was just embarrassing. Hopefully Mark wouldn't bring it up to anyone. 

Mark couldn't help but wonder if his own parents would react that way. One day he would have to tell them about Donghyuck, and that day would be nerve wrecking. But still, Mark didn't want to hide their relationship from his own family. One day. One day he'd tell them. 

 

Later that night, Donghyuck was rifling through his wardrobe. Mark was currently sat on the younger's bed, just watching him. Donghyuck was trying to look for something close to bedding, but it was proving futile. 

Mark leaned back on his palms, glancing around the younger's bedroom. The room was extremely neat, only a few books and clothes scattered here and there. If anything, it was spotless compared to Mark's room back at his parents house. 

"Fuck." Donghyuck muttered, dropping a few jackets off their hangers. 

Mark smiled. He was even happy to hear the younger swear again. He'd really missed Donghyuck, everything about him. "Why don't we both just sleep here together?" The elder questioned, tilting his head. 

Donghyuck stopped in his task of picking up his jackets. He turned around to face Mark, giving him a look of disbelief. Mark rolled his eyes, "we've shared beds before." 

"Y-yeah but," Donghyuck ruffled the back of his hair, "my bed is a single and... W-we confessed... D-didn't we?" 

Mark bit his lip at that, his heart clenching. "It... It doesn't have to mean anything like that." Oh god, this conversation was just getting more awkward. 

"What if... What if I want it to mean like that?" Donghyuck could feel his face set on fire. What the fuck was he suggesting!? They didn't have to go so fast! 

Mark's cleared his throat, looking away from the younger. "W-well... Do you want to do stuff like that?" His heart was hammering, like it wanted to burst from his chest. 

Donghyuck slowly made his way over towards the bed, sitting down beside the elder. He was a little shifty, but what else could he do to try and calm his nerves. "Well, yeah." He answered truthfully. 

Mark bit his lip, his face turning red. He wouldn't deny that he'd thought about those things too. Donghyuck placed his hand on top of Mark's, curling his fingers around his palm. 

"But," he turned to Mark, "my parents are here." He grinned, looking too cheeky. Mark immediately shoved the younger, making him fall to his side laughing as he went. 

Mark turned away with a pout, his face bright red. Donghyuck sat back up, chuckling as he did. "I'm sorry, hyung." He threw himself onto Mark's lap, looking up at the elder. "Forgive me?" 

"You son of a bitch," Mark gritted his teeth, "I was mentally preparing myself for it!" He lightly smacked Donghyuck's head, making him laugh again. 

"Sorry, sorry." Donghyuck closed his eyes, snuggling his cheek onto Mark's thigh. He actually felt extremely comfortable. "I love you." He breathed out. 

Mark felt all of his anger fade away. The younger was like a cat, curled up beside him with a soft smile. Mark petted Donghyuck's hair, raking his fingers through the softness. 

After a couple more hours, they both decided to get ready for bed. Donghyuck let Mark borrow some of his pyjamas and gave him a spare toothbrush from the cupboard. 

Donghyuck crawled into his bed first, pushing himself up close to the wall. Mark followed after him, the both of them facing each other. Donghyuck smiled, taking initiative and wrapping his arms around the elder. 

Mark chuckled softly, snuggling closer. "Donghyuck," he leaned forwards, nudging the younger's nose with his own. "Sing for me?" 

Donghyuck smiled. He was silent for a while, thinking over which song he was going to sing. When he came to a conclusion he stated into Mark's eyes, holding him even tighter. 

"This is love, this is love~" his voice was extremely soft as he started singing the Super Junior song. "The gentle wind, the plain flowers bloomed on the street~ 

"This is love, this is love,  
love is about the small things ~  
You made me realise~" Donghyuck nuzzled his nose against the elder's as he sang. 

Mark smiled, his hear filling with happiness at the sound of Donghyuck's voice. "This is love, this is love,   
The clear sky, the sun over the horizon~" 

Donghyuck closed his eyes, resting his forehead against Mark's. "This is love, this is love... You taught me that everything in the world is love..." 

Mark suddenly leaned forwards, pressing a gentle kiss to Donghyuck's lips. The younger kissed back, just meshing their lips together. It was a sweet, loving kiss. One that made their hearts race. 

Donghyuck broke the kiss first, smiling at the elder. Mark smiled back, before a chuckle left him. The younger closed his eyes first, already starting to fall asleep. Mark just watched Donghyuck sleep before he too started drifting away. 

 

When they came around, Donghyuck's mother had already had lunch waiting for them both. Mark had woken up first, forcing his eyes open. He turned his head to the side, seeing Donghyuck beside him. 

The younger was sleeping peacefully still, soft snores escaping his parted lips. Mark smiled at the sight. He slowly sat up, not wanting to disturb Donghyuck's sleep. Mark had to stop himself from laughing when he noticed that Donghyuck's arms were still wrapped around him. 

Seriously, how cute could Lee Donghyuck get? 

"Hyuck?" Mark raked his fingers through the younger's head, making him mumble. "It's time to wake up." He glanced to the side table where Donghyuck's clock was. It was 13:02. 

"Five more minutes..." Donghyuck mumbled, snuggling into Mark's side. The elder had to resist the urge to coo; but seriously how cute was he!? 

"Don't you want food?" Mark asked, instantly making the younger's eyes open. Donghyuck looked up at the elder who just smiled back down at him. 

Donghyuck lifted himself up, settling on his knees. He suddenly cupped Mark's face, their eyes locking. "Yesterday wasn't a dream, right?" 

Mark huffed a laugh. "You're talking aren't ya?" And with that he swivelled himself out of bed and stood up straight. Mark stretched his arms over his head, his pyjama shirt riding up a little. 

Donghyuck's eyes were glued to the flash of skin. He licked his lips, since they felt dry all of a sudden. Mark thankfully didn't noticed and excused himself to go take a shower. 

Donghyuck had a shower after Mark was finished too, wanting to feel refreshed. Once again, Mark borrowed some of Donghyuck's clothes, his ones from the day before now shoved in his rucksack. 

They were eating Mrs Lee's bibimbap. She didn't say a anything about them getting up late. Instead she opted for the next question, "what are you planning on doing today?" 

Donghyuck looked up from his bowl. "I don't know, maybe watch a movie and laze around." He wanted to spend some more time with Mark now that he finally had him. 

"When will you go back to NCT?" Mrs Lee asked, seriousness in her tone. 

"Ah..." Donghyuck glanced towards Mark before retiring his gaze back to his mother. "Maybe tonight?" Mark had mentioned that NCT had three days off, so Donghyuck wanted to spend the last day off with all the members. 

Donghyuck's mother nodded, "well, make sure that you go after your father and brothers come home. They will want to say goodbye." 

Donghyuck nodded. He wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to his family anyway. He knew that it would be a while till the next time he could see them anyway. 

The rest of the day played out just as Donghyuck had suggested. Him and Mark were on the sofa watching an action film. Mark wasn't really paying all that much attention, just looking over the younger. 

Donghyuck's head was laying on Mark's though as he watched the screen. Mark was mostly playing with the younger's hair, massaging his head as he did. Donghyuck's eyes lidded a little, relaxation taking over him. He really was a cat. 

It was around 4pm when all of Donghyuck's family had returned home. Mark had made sure that he had everything as Donghyuck hugged his younger brothers goodbye. Mr Lee had agreed to drive them back, since they'd be in the rush hour train and would probably be easily recognised. 

After Mrs Lee gave Donghyuck and Mark a hug goodbye, they were on there way back to the NCT dorm. Mr Lee was telling some stories of his workplace, which Mark honestly found to be quite interesting. 

Donghyuck was just gazing at Mark. The setting sunlight was hitting Mark's face just right, making him look exceptionally beautiful. The younger had managed to snap a photo on his phone without Mark noticing, thank god. 

The drive took a little over an hour due to the traffic. "You can drop us off here." Mark smiled at Mr Lee, seeing as though they were just outside the residential area where the dorm building was located. 

"Are you sure?" Donghyuck's father asked, turning around to look back at the boys when the car was stationary. 

"Yeah, it's not a long walk." Mark thanked Mr Lee for the drive back. He wished him a safe trip back before getting out of the car. 

Donghyuck gave his father a hug the best he could from the backseat. Mark pulled on his rucksack as he waited for the younger. Donghyuck climbed out of the car, his gym bag over his shoulder. 

The both of them waved off Donghyuck's father, waiting till the car had disappeared from sight. "Appa wouldn't have minded driving us straight to the dorm." Donghyuck commented, seeing as though they had a bit of a walk now. 

"I know." Mark grinned at the younger, making him furrow his eyebrows. A sigh escaped from Mark as he rolled his eyes. "I just want to walk with you." 

Donghyuck's face flushed as the elder grabbed his hand. Mark slowly interlocked their fingers before pulling his face mask up. The younger did the same, but felt kind of dazed as he did. 

The two of them walked through the residential area, hands interlocked and ears red. It was nice to just have time together, but there was something embarrassing about holding hands like lovers in public. What if someone saw them and recognised them? 

"What are you thinking about?" Mark enquired, glancing at the younger in the last dim lighting of day. 

"About how we are lovers now." Donghyuck answered, smiling at the elder with a dorky grin. Mark's cheeks turned pink at the younger's words, but they still made him stupidly happy inside. 

Mark squeezed Donghyuck's hand, catching his attention straight away. Donghyuck turned to look at the elder, but Mark just continued to stare forwards. 

"Mark hyung?" Donghyuck questioned, moving a little closer to the elder. "Mark?" 

The elder suddenly stopped, pulling Donghyuck into a hug. "If something horrible happens again to us, promise me that no matter what you won't shut me out." His voice was quivering a little as he spoke. 

Donghyuck instantly hugged the elder back, smiling a little to himself. "I promise. You won't block me out either will you?" 

"Never again." Mark didn't think he could physically handle Donghyuck not being beside him anymore. Donghyuck's smile grew into a large grin, his arms tightening around the elder. 

After what felt like not long enough, they broke apart their hug. Donghyuck ruffled Mark's hair before grabbing his hand again. The elder would have said something if he didn't really like the affection Donghyuck gave him. 

Another ten minutes and they were stood in front of the dorm building. Mark tried to slip his hand out of Donghyuck's grip, but the younger only tightened his hold. Mark blushed a little as they walked into the building hand in hand. 

As soon as they were in the elevator, they both pulled their face masks off. Donghyuck used his free hand to curl behind Mark's nape. He pulled the elder down, kissing him full on the lips as the lift travelled upwards to their floor. 

Mark was shocked at the sudden kiss, and he was a little panicked at how there were probably cameras. Instead of pushing Donghyuck away and scolding him, his eyes fluttered shut as he melted into the feeling of the kiss. 

The lift pinged on their floor, causing Donghyuck to pull away from the elder. Mark let an embarrassing whine escape him, only making the younger smirk at him. 

Their hands were still interlocked when Mark padded the pass key into their lock. Donghyuck walked in first, seeing all the shoes on the floor as soon as they stepped inside. Even Dream's shoes were there. 

The sound of laughter and chatter could be heard from the living room. Donghyuck quickly turned to Mark, pressing his finger to his lips as he made a shush. Mark just chuckled, letting the younger slowly pull him down the corridor. 

Donghyuck let go of Mark's hand this time, not that the elder minded. He had an idea of what Donghyuck was going to do, so he'd let him go through with it. 

Donghyuck suddenly slammed the door open to the living room, making the majority of the members jump. "We're home~!" He sang, loud and proud. Mark chuckled from the background. 

"Donghyuck your voice!" Chenle jumped up from where he was sat on the floor. 

"It's back~" Donghyuck sang again, a happy grin on his face. All of the other Dream members suddenly jumped on him, happy to see and hear him again. 

Mark casually walked into the living room, standing to the side as each of the members hugged Donghyuck. He smiled at how the members all looked ecstatic to have the younger back, but no one looked as happy as Donghyuck himself. 

Taeyong suddenly appeared beside Mark, nudging him with his elbow. "How was it?" He asked. 

"How was... what?" Mark countered, his eyes still fixed on Donghyuck. 

"The trip to get him back," Taeyong clarified, "was it eventful?" 

Mark smiled, a sweet smile that held so much affection. "Very..." 

Taeyong had a feeling that there was more to those words. He nudged the younger again, trying his best to get more out of him. Mark blushed a little, trying his best to ignore the leader. 

"Mark, you actually managed to bring him back!" Lucas randomly shouted from the pack of members. Mark blinked himself awake at the elder's voice, only to see that Lucas was now right in front of him. "How'd you do it?" 

"Do what?" Mark asked, furrowing his brows. 

"How did you get Donghyuck's voice back?" Lucas's eyes were swimming with curiosity. 

"That's a point." Jaehyun agreed from where he was sat on the sofa. "Donghyuck obviously couldn't figure it out on his own..."

"Hey!" Donghyuck shouted. 

"...so what did you do?" Jaehyun smirked at Mark as he watched the younger's face turn red. Jisung perked up from the crowd, looking more than interested. 

Mark glance over towards the maknae's direction. Jisung was staring at him, his eyes glued to Mark's. The elder cleared his throat a little feeling uncomfortable under Jisung's knowing gaze. 

Donghyuck was giving Mark a serious look, his eyes shifting about the members. Mark looked back at the younger, almost like they were having an internal conversation. 

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow, looking from one to the other. "Why are you acting so strange?" He wouldn't let them just get away with this. "Sworn to secrecy with each other or something?" 

Mark blushed suddenly, seeing as though every members's eyes were on him. Donghyuck suddenly stood up from where he'd ended up on the floor. "It's nothing like that, hyung." He ruffled the back of his hair in the most nonchalant way possible. 

"Then how'd you get your voice back?" Jaehyun pushed, still looking suspiciously at the younger two. 

"We... We talked about things that were bothering us." Donghyuck explained, his face turning red. "We were resolving things between us, right?" He looked over to Mark, almost like he was looking for approval. 

Mark bit his lip. He looked around at all the other members, all of them also waiting for his response. Mark sighed suddenly, making Donghyuck furrow his brows at him. 

"I don't want to lie to you all." Mark stated. Donghyuck's face flushed, his eyes widening. Mark walked over towards him, a blush on his own cheeks. 

"Mark hyung, what are you doing?" Donghyuck spoke to the elder in a hushed voice like the other members couldn't hear him. 

Mark smiled at the younger. "You were brave for you family. Now lets be brave for our family." He reached forwards, taking hold of Donghyuck's hand. 

Donghyuck smiled, grasping Mark's hand back. The elder of the two turned to the other NCT members. "Yesterday I confessed to Donghyuck. I love him." He turned back to look at his said dongsaeng. 

"The stress from holding back my feelings is what caused my voice to go." Donghyuck clarified, "I love Mark too." They were both looking at each other with soft gazes. 

Jisung smirked, he knew it. Everyone else shared glances, but no one looked overly shocked. More just a surprise they'd pulled out of hat. 

"S-so..?" Mark stuttered, turning back to the other members. They were all sat in silence, just staring at them. Donghyuck squeezed the elder's hand tighter not really knowing what to say. 

Jisung sighed, leaning back on the sofa. "It's about time, hyungs." He smiled at Mark, catching his wide eyes. "Told you it's better out of the sand." 

"Did you think we would disapprove?" Taeyong spoke up. Donghyuck stared at him, seeing as though it sounded like what his parents had said. 

"Well, we weren't sure." Mark answered honestly. "We didn't decide to tell you all. But, I didn't want to lie about us." He turned to look over Donghyuck again. 

Donghyuck smiled back, looking happy. Taeyong chuckled, catching their attention again. "We all kind of knew." He sounded bashful. 

"You guys are pretty obvious." Jaemin spoke up. "Especially Donghyuck." 

"Hey, you!" Donghyuck hissed at the younger. Jaemin just pulled a far at him, before smiling. 

"This will be secret between us, okay." Taeyong's tone suddenly turned serious. "If the company finds out there might be severe consequences, so just keep that in mind." 

Mark nodded in complete understanding. SM were going to kick Donghyuck out because of his aphonia, knowing they were a couple were strive controversy. It could get them both kicked out the band, or worse, the whole of NCT's disbandment. 

"We promise." Donghyuck answered. Taeyong smiled back at him, glad that they both understood the importance of keeping this amongst themselves. 

-

Nighttime came around fast. Donghyuck was currently in his an Mark's 127 room. The elder was currently in the shower, so Donghyuck had taken it upon himself to make so adjustments. 

The side table separating their beds was now moved. Donghyuck pushed his bed next to Mark's, making their two singles into one double. He would find a way to deal with the gap between the mattresses one day. 

Donghyuck sat on Mark's bed, which was closest to the wall. He wanted them to sleep closely tonight. It was nice to think that Mark was actually his now. He just wanted to relish in just the thought. 

The door to their bedroom opened, revealing a damp Mark. He had his joggers on and towel around his neck. Donghyuck stared at the elder's abdomen, seeing the lean body that he had. 

Mark noticed the younger staring at him and immediately blushed. "Quit staring!" He tried to cover himself with his hands, making Donghyuck chuckle. 

The chance in room arrangement suddenly caught Mark's eye, seeing the beds pushed together. "Why did you push the beds together like that?" He questioned. 

Donghyuck chuckled, pushing off the beds. He walked up to Mark, winding his arms around the elder's waist. "I want to be close to you tonight." He watched as Mark's flush got darker. He leaned up a little, whispering hotly into Mark's ear, "but it would be uncomfortable on one bed." 

Mark closed his eyes, mentally stopping himself from shivering. Donghyuck pulled back a little, looking over the elder's submissive stance. "You're making me want to kiss you." Donghyuck stated, his hands gliding down Mark's sides to his hips. 

The elder slowly opened his eyes, looking at Donghyuck with lidded eyes. "Maybe I want you to kiss me." 

"Tempting." Donghyuck smirked a little, forever a tease. Mark rolled his eyes before playfully pushing at the younger. Donghyuck just laughed, his hands still secure on Mark's hips. 

It took another ten minutes of teasing and giggled before they finally got into bed. Mark and Donghyuck were facing each other, looking at each other in the dim ligh rod the bedside lamp. 

"You're really cute, Hyuckie." Mark said as he pushed a fingertip at the younger's nose. Donghyuck's nose twitched in response, only making him look more adorable. 

"And you're really pretty, hyung." Donghyuck replied, reaching out and brushing some hair out of Mark's face. The elder blushed, his eyes darting away. 

Donghyuck suddenly shuffled closer, slipping onto Mark's mattress. The elder backed away a little, only to be enclosed in by the wall. 

"Mark hyung..." Donghyuck was really close now. Mark could feel the younger's body heat emit from his skin. 

"Hmm?" Mark answered, showing that he was completely listening to the younger. 

"Can I... touch you?" Donghyuck felt his own cheeks turn pink at the question. 

Mark's heart seemed to speed up more. "S-sure..." He was flustered but he didn't want to deny the younger. After all, Mark love the warmth that Donghyuck's skin gave him. Why would he not want that all over his body? 

Donghyuck's hands landed on Mark's hips again, just holding him steady. Mark tried to keep his breathing steady, though it was proving to be more difficult than he first anticipated. 

Donghyuck slipped his hands under Mark's baggy top, gently sliding up his sides. Mark's breath hitched, feeling the sensation of Donghyuck's skin against his own. 

The younger's hands slid to Mark's back, gently gluing over his spine. Donghyuck's hands travelled up and down the elder's back, over his spine, shoulder blades, even dipping into the small of his back. 

"You're so soft, hyung," Donghyuck muttered, hands up near his scapula again. Mark bit his lip, desperately holding back a quiver. God, Donghyuck's hands were making him unbelievably weak. 

Donghyuck's hands ran downwards, just to slide back up again. He slowly brought one hand forwards, his fingertips accidentally brushing over the elder's nipple. 

"Ah!"

Donghyuck's eyes widened, hearing the soft moan. Mark looked as equally stunned, not expecting such a sound to come out of his mouth. 

"Th-that was... I wasn't... I-it was..." Mark's entire face was red, embarrassment taking over him. 

"Cute..." Donghyuck said in a daze, still staring at the elder. He brought his other hand forwards this time, purposefully brushing against the other nipple. 

"Nnh...!" Mark let out another noise. "D-don't, Donghyuck..." His hands were gripping onto the younger's biceps, trying his best to keep him at bay.

"So cute." Donghyuck repeated. His thumbs brushed over both of Mark's nipples, pulling an even louder moan from him. This was amazing information for Donghyuck. "I didn't know you had sensitive nipples?" 

"Ah...! Sh-shut up!" Mark tried to scold but the younger kept circling his nubs with his thumbs. "Wh-what about you th-then?" He forced one eyes opening, not even remembering when he'd closed them. 

Donghyuck just shrugged. Mark was quick to counter attack, reaching under the younger's top. He went straight for Donghyuck's nipples, nudging them softly. 

Donghyuck just giggled. "That kinda tickles." He kept chuckling to himself as Mark felt up his chest area. 

"Why isn't it..?" Mark suddenly punched one of Donghyuck's nub, causing him to yelp. 

"Ow, that hurt." The younger pouted. Mark frowned, not understanding why it didn't work on Donghyuck. Was he iron skinned or something? 

Donghyuck suddenly pinched Mark's nipples as revenge catching the elder off guard. "Ahh!" Mark moaned loud, as in: other members probably heard loud. 

Mark gritted his teeth, glaring at the smirking Donghyuck in front of him. "You bastard!" He growled through gritted teeth. The younger chuckled, shuffling dangerously close. 

"Lemme try something." Donghyuck slipped under the duvet, manoeuvring carefully. Mark didn't have time to react when Donghyuck travelled up his shirt. 

"D-don't you dare!" Mark wanted, pushing at the younger shoulders. Donghyuck determination seemed to be keeping his strength on maximum because Mark couldn't push him away. 

Donghyuck latched his mouth on Mark's nipple, flicking his tongue at it. Mark brought one hand to his mouth, his eyes squeezing shut. He was managing to muffle most of the moans trying to escape, but it was difficult. 

Donghyuck moved onto the other nub, licking and sucking at it. Mark was trying not to shudder but he felt disembodied. Donghyuck suddenly bit down making Mark yelp through his fingers. 

"Did that hurt?" Donghyuck's head poked back out the duvet, looking over the elder with serious eyes. Mark forced his eyes open, looking down at the younger. 

"N-not really..." Mark answered, feeling embarrassed about the sudden situation. Donghyuck smiled, leaning up to capture the elder's lips in a kiss. 

"You're really cute, hyung." Donghyuck licked his lips, "if I knew you were this adorable I would have done something sooner." 

"Do you want to be smacked!?" Mark hissed out, only making Donghyuck laugh. 

"Did that excite you, hyung?" Donghyuck suddenly whispered, his hands on Mark's hips. He was dangerously close to where Mark was feeling most embarrassed about. 

"What the fuck have you got cocky for?" Mark growled, trying to mask the embarrassment. 

"Hmm?" Donghyuck looked into Mark's eyes. "I just feel happy. I get to be with you like this. It makes me really happy." 

Mark felt his body relax at the younger's words. He was happy too, just a little embarrassed about how easily Donghyuck could effect him. 

Donghyuck suddenly brushed his palm over Mark's crotch area. "Y-yah! Where are you touching!?" Mark grabbed Donghyuck's wrists, pulling them away. 

"But, hyung, you're hard." Donghyuck stated the obvious, his face a soft shade of pink. 

"What about you?" Mark found his confidence. He reached with one hand and cupped Donghyuck, making the younger moan softly. Mark would have relished in victory for causing the younger to moan if he wasn't currently feeling how hard he actually was. 

"M-me too." Donghyuck gasped. He wiggled a little, trying to get comfortable. "What are we gonna do about it?" He asked almost seriously. 

"Together?" Mark suggested. His ears were burning as he spoke, making him look unbelievably cute. 

Donghyuck shuffled in as close as he could get. One arm was around Mark's waist, keeping him as close as he needed him. They both moaned when their lower bodies touched, both feeling their hard ons through their joggers. 

"You're really hard." Donghyuck commented, only to get a slap on the shoulder in return. 

"And you're not?" Mark retorted. The younger only grinned at that, rolling his hips forwards. Mark tensed but didn't let the younger win. He proceeded to pulling Donghyuck's hips towards his own increasing the pressure. 

"F-fuck..." Donghyuck muttered out, a soft moan escaping him. Mark twitched one eye, trying not to show that the feeling was effecting him. 

Donghyuck buried his face into Mark's neck, suddenly starting to kiss at him. Mark moaned, tilting his head to give the younger more room. "Don't leave any marks." The elder quickly warned. 

"Ah... Can't make up cover it?" Donghyuck licked a long strip up Mark's neck. 

"A-and how would I explain... to the staff?" Mark tangled one hand in the younger's hair, keeping his head against his neck. 

"That you're loved." Donghyuck teased, now biting at Mark's ear. 

"Very funny." Mark smiled, before he started shifting. He hooked his leg around Donghyuck before turning his body slightly. In the process he managed to pull Donghyuck on top of him. 

Donghyuck lifted himself up on the hands, looking down at the elder. Mark smiled up at him, eyes lidded and cheeks pink. "I love you, Donghyuck." Mark suddenly pulled Donghyuck's hips down, their arousals meeting again. 

"Shit..." Donghyuck felt his arms buckle slightly, one shuffling down to one elbow. "Ah... M-Mark..." The elder bit his lip, but parted his legs slowly so that Donghyuck would have more room. 

Donghyuck had subconsciously started grinding down onto Mark, obviously chasing the pleasure. Mark bit harder into his lip, holding back the moans that were bubbling up. 

"M-Mark, don't bite..." Donghyuck's thumb brushed over the elder's bottom lip. "K-kiss me instead..." 

Mark instantly wrapped his arms around the younger's neck, pulling him down. Their lips and teeth met in a clash, but none of that mattered. Mark licked into Donghyuck's mouth, caressing his inner cheeks and roof with his tongue. 

Donghyuck curled his fingers into Mark's hair, his hips still working at a fast pace. The more Mark wanted to moan the more aggressive his tongue moved. Not that Donghyuck was complaining or anything. 

"D-Donghyuck...!" Mark broke the kiss with a sudden moan of the younger's name. Donghyuck's arms were starting to buckle; Mark moaning his name was too much. 

"Ah!" Donghyuck stilled with his moan, hips stuttering. Mark glanced down, ignoring the younger's ragged breath against his face. 

"Did you just cum?" Mark asked, generally surprised. 

"Sh-shut up." Donghyuck pouted, his face flushed.

"That was sudden." Mark chuckled, teasing present in his tone. 

"You're the one that moaned my name like that!" Donghyuck quickly defended. Mark blushed this time, seeing as though he had caused the younger to finish. 

Donghyuck glanced downwards, seeing as though the elder was still hard and straining. "I'll help you finish, hyung." He cupped the elder through his jeans, pulling another gasp from him. 

Mark gripped hard to the younger's shoulders, breathy moans escaping him. Donghyuck just stared down at the elder. His eyes intense. 

"D-do you have to st-stare like that...?" Mark whimpered. He was almost arching off the bed, pushing himself more into Donghyuck's hand. He was so desperate to finish. 

"Mark hyung," Donghyuck's voice was in his ear, deeper than he'd ever heard it. "I've always dreamed of this. Since years ago, I've fantasised about having you beneath me like this." 

"D-Donghyuck..." Mark tried to move his head away, the younger's voice getting to him. 

"You'll let me go further one day, right, hyung?" Donghyuck kissed the elder's neck softly. "I want to touch you all over. I want to feel every part of you. One day, I want to fuck you. Please?" 

"F-fuck... I can't..." Mark tightened his hold on Donghyuck, before another long drawn out moan left him. He shuddered against the bed; Donghyuck didn't look away, wanting to imprint this into his memory. 

Donghyuck was suddenly shoved to the side, making him laugh. Mark turned his head away, blush raising in his cheeks. The younger quickly got up from the bed, grabbing two pairs of pyjama pants. 

Mark got the gist, sitting up from the bed. They both changed quickly after a quick wipe down. Mark shuffled back up to the wall, his back turned towards the younger. Donghyuck just wrapped his arms around the elder, spooning him gently. 

Mark smiled leaning a little back into the touch. Donghyuck nuzzled the elder's shoulder, smiling brightly to himself. Mark could feel the younger's smile, making his grow wider. 

"What are you smiling at?" Mark questioned, glancing back. 

"I'm just so happy..." Donghyuck answered cutely. Mark turned himself around until they were face to face. Donghyuck just stared at Mark, who was staring back. 

"We're gonna face hardships from now on." Mark stated seriously. "But no matter what, I won't let you go." He pressed a kiss to Donghyuck's forehead. 

"We're still gonna argue and piss each other off." Donghyuck added, receiving a playful smack to the head. "But same... I will never let you go either." He snuggled closer to Mark, his eyes closing. 

Mark started petting the younger's hair, a soft smile on his face. "I love you, Hyuckie." 

"Love you too... Mark..." Donghyuck was already drifting off, his body relaxed. Mark continued stroking the younger's hair, watching him sleep peacefully. 

"Sing for me in the morning, okay?" Mark whispered, though he knew the younger was asleep. Donghyuck just nuzzled closer, soft snoring leaving him.

Mark let his own eyes close, letting sleep take over him. It felt perfect sleeping beside Donghyuck. The warmth that Donghyuck have him was all that he needed, it was perfect. 

"G'night, Donghyuckkie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks guys~  
> This fic was fun to write and I'm glad you guys liked it ^_^ I will return probably with more NCT fics~ ♡♡♡♡♡  
> Thanks again ^.^


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